Welcome to Trump’s America, The i Paper’s World Insight series presenting the sharpest, deepest thinking on an era-defining shift in history and politics, investigating how Donald Trump and his administration have changed the US and the world – and where we go from here.

• Hegseth is running a PR firm disguised as a defence department
• The rich are building their own America
• The more America spends on healthcare, the sicker it gets

Parenting is a verb in America. Which tells you all you need to know about why American parents are so stressed. Parenting is a complex skill – something you can strive to get better at, one in which you must choose a strategy and audit results. It’s all a far cry from the days of Dr Benjamin Spock, whose iconic 1946 guide opened with the reassuring words: “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

Fast forward 80 years, and in 2026 American parents must juggle work, expensive childcare and ubiquitous social media parenting gurus. While these pressures are mounting globally, parenting in America is notably expensive – and competitive.

This is the richest economy in the world – so the payoff for successful parenting can mean generational wealth for your children, if they get into good schools and land well-paying jobs. Rewards are greater here, which is why even now immigrants from all over the world are drawn to America, in search of a better life for the next generation.

But there’s a price to be paid by the aspirational parent. A middle-income American family can expect to spend $389,000 (£285,000) to raise a child over 18 years, according to a 2023 analysis – 16 per cent of that figure goes on childcare and education, with 9 per cent spent on healthcare. This compares to the estimated £250,000 cost of raising a child in Britain from birth to 18.

A 2020 study by Belgian researchers found that American parents were among the most burned out in the developed world. Parents here are expected to fork out thousands for childcare and healthcare while managing demanding extracurricular schedules for their offspring and navigating a national obsession with getting into top colleges. It’s hardly surprising that in a recent survey, Quarterly Insights from American Families, about half of parents reported feeling down, depressed, or hopeless within the previous two weeks.

Financial worries lie at the heart of the stress American parents feel. And the US has one of the highest poverty rates among nations in the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, at 18 per cent – with more than one in five American children living in poverty. It’s the paradox of American society – extreme wealth and deprivation living cheek by jowl. More than a quarter of parents in a recent survey had borrowed money or taken on debt to cover basic needs in the past year. That figure rises to 40 per cent for parents earning less than $50,000 (£37,000) a year. Backpacks, school supplies, clothes, groceries – all these costs have risen with the persistently high inflation Americans have struggled with since Covid. A recent analysis of the US Bureau of Labour Statistics Consumer Prices Index found the price of a basket of lunchbox staples climbed from $22 (£16) in 2019 to more than $31 (£23) today.

For parents who are in and out of work, getting consistent healthcare for their children is almost impossible. Health insurance in America is provided by employers – or you can pay to get it via Obamacare, which has become increasingly unaffordable since the Trump administration allowed the federal subsidies which kept the costs down to expire.

Surveys suggest a quarter of parents struggle to afford the healthcare their children need. For example, parents with a so-called “high-deductible” healthcare plan (meaning you have to pay a big excess amount before the insurance kicks in) may skip big-ticket items like MRI scans or expensive medication for their children.

August is back to school month for many American children – and most schools require an up-to-date medical form before students are allowed to participate in sports training. This was always a logistical headache for me, as all three of my boys played sport and yet our insurance would only cover the cost of an annual physical once in a calendar year – it would cost at least $250 (£183) to get a private paediatrician’s exam, more if extra lab tests were required.

For parents without insurance, free mobile clinics pop up at this time of year in many states, where you can take your child for a doctor’s examination and get a medical form so your child can participate. It was one of the more sobering sights of my 22 years in America, seeing parents and children lining up outside a free clinic near a trailer park in Connecticut, which is one of the wealthiest states in America.

Parents must also contend with their children’s use of smartphones and AI, and concerns about the impact of online use on mental health and the ability to learn. Take the landmark case against Google and Meta in which a young woman successfully argued that social media platforms played a role in harming her mental health. Yet children now have access to AI models, which only heightens the parental sense of insecurity and lack of control. Will AI models reduce children’s ability to read, concentrate and think critically? Research is under way into something called “cognitive offloading” – students getting AI to do the reading and understanding for them. As the parent of a college student, this is something I worry about endlessly.

There is a lot of noise in American parenting. Having raised children on both sides of the Atlantic, I found it to be a competitive activity here, compared to a collaborative one in Britain. There’s an intensity to raising your children in the US, an unspoken sense that the stakes are high, and the rewards of status and wealth could be great if you do a good job as a parent.

Now my sons are in their twenties, I can feel the stress has lifted, and it’s a relief.