At 24, my mother moved into the flat my father was renting in London. They didn’t know each other; my great-aunt knew of a spare room in Holland Park and my mother needed a place to live. So they became flatmates, and within less than two months they were dating; marriage, my sisters, and me arrived not long after.
I’m simplifying things, of course, but you’ve got to admit relationships did seem come more easily in those days. This isn’t a controversial opinion. It’s well-documented that my generation, Gen Z, is going through a relationship recession, a loneliness epidemic, and a sex drought. Most recently, YouGov reported that one-third of 18- to 29-year-olds have never been in a relationship.
I’m 25, and while I have been in a relationship before, I am currently (and rather reluctantly) single. Minus a few messy situationships it’s been over two years since my last boyfriend.
I don’t consider this a bad thing or a failure on my part. I like the freedom that single life brings, the ability to focus on myself, my friends, and my career. However, as much as I’d like to always be the strong independent woman, there are moments when all I want from life is a relationship. And when this is the case, I do what everyone my age does: turn to the apps, flock to the pub, and pray that this time things will be different. Sadly, they never are.
The films men ‘secretly enjoy’ watching with their partner
More than a quarter of men enjoy watching romance films with their partner but view it as a “guilty pleasure” they wouldn’t tell anyone about, a new survey shows.
Here are their top choices for movie night.
What films do male partners like?
Though they would not admit to it,
26%
of male partners surveyed said they “secretly enjoy” watching romance films.
Netflix commissioned a poll of more than 2,000 Brits in relationships.
50%
of men see this as a guilty pleasure and would never tell their friends.
Nine in 10 couples said watching these films brings them closer as a couple.
Top ranked films by men
- 1 – 31%
- 2 – 26%
- 3 – 25%
- 4 – 25%
- 5 – 24%
UK politics
State pension triple lock could be axed – how to replace it
Andy Burnham is facing growing pressure to scrap the triple lock on state pensions to help repair the nations’ finances.
Here’s how the Government could navigate any journey away from the policy – and what could replace it.
Why might the triple lock be axed?
The British Chamber of Commerce (BCC) has, for the first time, called on Chancellor John Healey to abandon the policy, under which the state pension rises by whichever is highest of inflation, wage growth or 2.5 per cent each year.
The BCC argued that replacing it with an inflation-matched raise (a single lock) could save £3.3bn in two years. Currently, the triple lock costs £146bn a year.
Other options to replace triple lock
Smoothed earnings link
Mostly following wage growth but rising with inflation if there’s a temporary price shock.
Double lock
Removing the 2.5 per cent guarantee, rising with the higher of inflation or wages.
People build up credits through work and activities, and retirement age is determined by individual health.
Why is it controversial?
The Labour Party committed to keeping the triple lock in its 2024 manifesto. Going back on this would likely alienate older voters, who are generally more likely to go to the polls in an election than younger generations.
2 min read
3 min read
‘The triple lock has got to go’
There is no longer a financial or moral justification for keeping the triple lock, but scrapping it represents a political risk that no prime minister has felt like taking.
It was only introduced to rebuild the value of the state pension after decades in which it had fallen relative to earnings – not necessarily as a permanent settlement.
The inescapable fact is that most of us are living longer and collecting pensions for longer. Someone has to pay for that, and the bill goes to people of working age.
3 min read
New first-time buyer ISA on the way – here’s what we know
Andy Burnham’s Government is looking at a “new and improved product” to replace the existing Lifetime ISA (LISA), for savers who want to get on the property ladder.
What is a LISA?
- A LISA is an account that allows you to save £4,000 per year tax-free.
- The government tops up the account by 25 per cent a year.
3 min read
No upper age limit or penalties
The current LISA only allows savers to withdraw their money when they reach 60 or when buying their first home. You can only open an account before you are 40 and must stop paying in at 50. These restrictions would be abolished under Labour’s plans, with no withdrawal penalties for using the money for alternative means.
2 min read
When will it be available?
Consultations on a new LISA closed last month, with Burnham’s team confirming interest in launching the accounts. It could come as soon as the Budget on 28 October.
- Any changes to savings limit, the top-up amount and the price cap on properties you can spend your savings LISA on (currently at £450,000) are yet to be confirmed.
Watch more from The i Paper
How the baby bust is devastating primary schools
With birth rates falling across the UK, London’s schools and parents are dealing with the consequences.
What is the baby bust?
Dropping birth rate
In England, declining birth rates have led to over 100 schools permanently closing in the last decade.
Fewer pupils
England’s state schools are largely funded according to the number of pupils they teach; when school rolls fall, so does their income.
Unchanged costs
But operational costs do not shrink at the same rate as pupil decline.
Expert opinion
In London, a pupil will attract £6,000 to £7,000, so each pupil you lose is costing you quite a lot
Jon Andrews, head of analysis at the Education Policy Institute, explained that costs will stay the same despite pupil numbers falling because “you’re still needing a teacher in front of that class – and potentially a teaching assistant, too”.
A growing problem
7 min read
5 min read
Why children are being urged to get flu vaccine
Parents are being urged to ensure their children are vaccinated against flu this winter after a drop in vaccinations last year.
Here’s how to check if your child is eligible.
Why the push for flu jabs?
- In 2025/26, just 55.5 per cent of primary school children had a flu vaccine, according to new figures from the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA).
- This is around 2.5 million youngsters out of the 4.5 million who were eligible.
- The vaccine, given as a nasal spray, is estimated to have prevented 68 per cent of children from being admitted to hospital last year and kept 52 per cent from having to visit their GP.
How will vaccine rollout work?
Who is eligible?
Toddlers aged two to three, primary school-aged children, secondary school pupils and children aged at least six months with long-term health conditions.
Where can you get it?
At the GP for toddlers, while older children are offered it in school.
When will it start?
Expert opinion
Ensuring children are vaccinated against with a painless and easy nose spray, not only helps to protect them, but also helps stop them spreading it into the wider community.
Dr Suzanna McDonald, UKHSA’s flu programme lead, said ensuring appropriate protection will take a “concerted effort” from parents, school vaccination teams, and head teachers.
The Inbetweeners 3 – what we know as Netflix releases teaser
is making a comeback, with Netflix announcing production has begun on a third film.
Reunion incoming
Netflix announced that the cast of the popular E4 sitcom are due to reunite for another raunchy cinematic romp which is “now in production”, according to a new minute-long teaser trailer.
The cast last appeared on the big screen together in 2014’s The Inbetweeners 2, which saw them take a gap year across Australia.
What we know so far…
Continuing the story
It marks a continuation of the popular series, which aired from 2008 to 2010 followed by films in 2011 and 2014.
The gang’s all back
Actors Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison and Joe Thomas will reprise their roles as Will, Jay, Neil and Simon.
Creators to direct
creators Damon Beesley and Iain Morris will return to write and direct the film.
Ooh, friends again!
It’s been super-fun hanging out with our friends again, and we’re going to work hard every week to ensure there are no problemos making this new film for humans.
creators Damon Beesley and Iain Morris
‘I’ve struggled to find a goal since The Inbetweeners’
All James Buckley wanted growing up was to be in a well-loved sitcom. That dream gave him direction and purpose. When he was 20, earlier than he’d ever imagined, it came true. The problem is, when your dream comes true so quickly, it’s hard to come up with another.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
I can blame myself, which, trust me, I do. But with the issue being more generational rather than just personal, I’m beginning to consider that societal forces may be hindering my capacity to couple up – forces that didn’t exist when my parents were young.
Take, for example, our economic disparity. Cities like London are no longer as welcoming to young people as they used to be. Rent prices are soaring, entry-level jobs are vanishing, and the cost of living crisis is deeming even a trip to the pub an unaffordable luxury. Jumping on the housing ladder, as my parents quickly did, is unfathomable. The average home now costs nine times the average income (it was only four in the 70s).
For me, this has meant a retreat back to my childhood bedroom, relinquishing my independence in the hopes of remaining financially afloat. Absurd when my parents were young, but now, with nearly half of 25-year-olds living at home, it’s largely considered normal.
This does not bode well for my hopes of finding a boyfriend. Nothing’s more of a turn-off than saying, “Sorry we can’t, my parents are home.”
Likewise, don’t expect me to be hooking up on a sticky dance floor in the midst of a drunk night out. Club entry fees, drink prices, and the agony of splurging on an Uber home in the name of safety are all contributing to my withdrawal from Britain’s nightlife, finding comfort instead in a Friday night home alone rewatching episodes of Sex and the City.
Again, there’s nothing wrong with this, only that I highly doubt I’m going to meet the love of my life lying in bed with a cup of tea, head in a screen, scrolling. Oh wait, I forgot, that’s exactly how I’m expected to meet men nowadays. Because I’m single in the age of modern dating, where romance is orchestrated predominantly online via apps like Hinge, Bumble and Tinder.
Brought in to assist us desperate digital natives, apps like these have made dating hard and soul-destroying. I’m still active on Hinge (my favourite), particularly in moments of peak boredom or insecurity. The pattern goes as follows: I swipe optimistically for hours at a time, match and message as many profiles as I can, and then I wait. Maybe I go on one date, but more often it’s just a string sterile conversation, leading nowhere besides me deleting Hinge once more. You can imagine this does wonders for my self-esteem!
And having the majority of our dating pool available at the push of a button has made us hyper-choosy. Sure, my parents were probably equally as committed to finding the perfect match, but they placed far less value on having a “type”, especially one based principally on looks and box-ticking.
What’s worse, if you can make it past hours of swiping, ghosting, catfishing, and countless cringe-worthy first dates, you then have the issue of commitment to grapple with – Gen Z’s greatest fear. Choice paralysis generated by dating apps is eliminating the desire to settle down. It’s the knowledge that someone better could always come along or really, that they can be accessed effortlessly online.
In the midst of dating a guy, I discovered he was still active on Hinge (my friend found his profile). I was shocked – we weren’t officially dating but I did think we counted as exclusive. And yet, there he was, still with one eye on the apps, swiping his why through the women of London. True, it was early days, but whatever happened to the honeymoon period? The answer is that it’s been replaced by the probation period – no commitment guaranteed. This is completely normal now.
So, while, I’ve never known dating without digital interference, I can see that it’s undoubtedly made dating harder, not easier. However, it’s not just dating apps fostering my romantic defeatism. It’s the entire digital ecosystem.
Time spent doomscrolling has replaced time with friends and family. Headphones in, we listen to podcasts as opposed to making small talk with strangers, and rather than office banter and post-work drinks, I have email exchanges and Zoom calls.
And above all else, it’s the impact of having so much information about ourselves online: a digital portfolio that potential suitors use to make judgement. I’m guilty of this, unable to resist rummaging through the internet after meeting a guy – Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and even Strava are now dubious tools at the disposal of us singletons.
Unfortunately, though entertaining, this is always counterproductive. You either become overly obsessed with someone you’ve just met (and have to hide the fact that you know everything about them) – or you get the ick before the first date.
We’ve traded anonymity for information and in the process, lost the mystery, spontaneity, and joy that once defined falling in love. My parents could never have imagined this almost Orwellian approach to dating.
So, it’s settled: my generation does have it worse than our parents did when it comes to finding love. But should we take this relationship recession lying down, hoping that fate eventually might save the day? Absolutely not. While generational divides exist, we can still go to our parents for advice that costs nothing. My mother’s?
“Put down your phone, communicate and be prepared to compromise. If that fails, find a single man with a spare bedroom, preferably in Holland Park!”
Any takers?