A woman who took £100,000 from her mother’s estate for looking after her before she died was ‘made to feel like a criminal’ by her siblings.

Bern Rogers, 71, became embroiled in a bitter fight with her five siblings after she cared for her mother, Sheila Wills, who had dementia, in the final years of her life.

Sheila decided she wanted to be looked after by her daughter rather than get costly home care or go into a residential care home.

Bern said she agreed with her mother that she would be paid for the 24-hour care; the rest of the family disputed that she needed that level of supervision.

After her mum passed away in April 2020, Bern took £100,000 from her estate, but it led to her being reported to the police for fraud and theft.

The money was seized, and Bern was charged. But at a trial at Bristol Crown Court in 2022, she was found not guilty by a jury.

When she was cleared, Bern turned to the civil courts because Bern ‘hadn’t had a penny’ from the estate, she said.

After a six-and-a-half year dispute, Bern won a landmark High Court case and was awarded £127,500 for the care she provided her mother in the final years of her life.

Bern, a grandmother of six from Bristol, said: ‘I went from being held up as a saint for looking after mum to suddenly being this terrible criminal.

‘I was just doing what my mum asked me to do. It was them [siblings] against me, made me feel like a scapegoat.’

Sheila moved from Norfolk to live with Bern and her husband Jon in Bristol in September 2017 after struggling to live independently.

Bern said the arrangement was initially supposed to last around 10 days after her mother was found wandering outside her home and neighbours raised concerns about her wellbeing.

But it quickly became clear Sheila needed much greater support. A year later she was diagnosed with dementia, and her health continued to deteriorate.

Bern said her mother repeatedly insisted on staying with her rather than returning home or moving into residential care.

“She said, ‘I don’t want to live on my own. I want to come and live with you’,” Bern recalled.

Sheila eventually required 24-hour help with personal care, assistance eating, support with incontinence and treatment for a painful prolapse.

Jon, 72, a retired GP, said: ‘We felt unable to leave her on her own. If Bern needed to go to the shops, I would have to stay at home. We couldn’t go out. Even going to the shops was difficult. It was a 24-hour job.’

The couple said their lives were put on hold while caring for Sheila.

Bern said: ‘It was very hard. You think they’re the person they’ve always been and then you realise their brain is being affected by the slightest thing. She would get anxious and upset. She could get angry. It was very frightening for her.’

During Sheila’s final weeks, which coincided with the first Covid lockdown, Bern slept on the floor beside her mother’s bed. Despite the demands, Bern said she would do it all again.

‘I think we gave her the best life,’ she said. ‘She loved being around the children and grandchildren. I think she was really pleased to be here.’

But when Sheila died in April 2020, Bern said her brother, who was executor of the estate, told her to take money for the care she had provided.

Bern said discussions had long taken place within the family about her being compensated for caring for their mother.

Multiple messages from Bern’s five siblings were shown in court saying that she should be paid something for the care, although no amount was agreed.

That is why, she explained, shortly after her mother had died, she transferred £100,000 from her mother’s account and placed it into a separate account. But relations rapidly deteriorated.

Bern says the estate was worth over £400,000, which includes Sheila’s Norfolk home sale of around £235k after her death. According to Bern, her five siblings received their shares of the estate while she received nothing.

In 2025, the High Court ruled that she had entered into an informal contract with her mother under which she would be paid a reasonable sum for caring for her.

The court also found that, even without a contract, her mother’s estate had benefited from her care through the legal principle of unjust enrichment.

A further hearing in August this year determined how much she should receive. The court found Bern had provided care for 850 days and awarded her £150 per day, totalling £127,500.

Bern believes the case could help other family carers facing similar disputes.

The executor of Sheila’s estate is Bern’s brother, Andrew Wills.

In a statement on behalf of the estate, he said: ‘The only agreements that we (her siblings) were aware of was for my mother to give Bernadette £50 per week ‘keep’ and to ensure that Bernadette was not to be out of pocket. 

‘We were not made aware of any other contract between our mother and Bernadette. At all times, I have attempted to be independent and to act in the best interests of the estate. The estate has always been willing to pay Bernadette her genuine expenses as well as an additional gratuity in recognition of her efforts for our mother.

‘We have always tried to be fair. Unfortunately, our offers were not accepted by Bernadette who instead issued legal proceedings against the estate.’

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