Bartolin snorts, his impressive platinum fringe rippling in the morning breeze. As he paws the dusty earth with a hoof the size of a kettlebell, a jolt of nervousness runs through me. I’ll just say it: I’ve never really liked horses. There’s something brittle, so easily spooked about these glossy giants that I find unsettling. Perhaps it’s the amount of horse-mad girls I grew up with who had prominent scars from being kicked, or had suffered spells of unconsciousness after being thrown by their equine “best friend”.

“He is so gentle,” soothes Paloma, the 23-year-old equestrian centre staffer in chestnut jodhpurs — the same colour as her plaited hair, and Bartolin’s monogrammed saddle. Hoisting my wobbly legs into the stirrups, I pat Bart’s creamy white, grey-speckled shoulder and feel his soft mane. Within minutes, Paloma teaches me how to nudge him to walk, steer him left or right, and stop. Far from my nightmare scenario of cantering off into the Andalusian hills, my new friend seems so chilled as to be horizontal. I soon see that he’s far more likely to grind to a stubborn halt than to dash off, especially if he finds a nice patch of shade.

I’m at Finca La Bobadilla, a mellow, rural Spanish hotel in the hills north of Malaga, and horses are their thing. The Andalusian region has a long history of equestrian culture — royalty based in Cordoba in the 16th century were renowned for having the sleekest and most athletic stallions, while Jerez has had a prestigious horse fair since the 13th century. Exporting the Pura Raza (purebreed) species was banned by the government here until the 1960s.

Instead of a tense morning wrangling a highly-strung steed, my introduction to equestrian life is a gentle, lolloping trot around the 865-acre estate, all sun-bleached, stony trails and green-gold oak and cork forest. The views from high in the saddle are incredible, and there’s a mindful quality to Paloma’s instructions. “Sit back in the saddle. Relax your arms. Breathe deeply,” she says. “The horse will relax when you are relaxed.” It’s more meditation than manoeuvring.

Riders can tailor their time with the horses depending on experience: unaccompanied rides for confident types, polishing up riding skills in the sand school or, like me, a gentle guided ride. Afterwards, I feel euphoric. In fact, I’m tempted to come back the following morning and continue my bonding with gentle-eyed Bart.

But there’s plenty here to turn my head. Originally built in the 1980s to resemble a tiny Andalusian village, the whitewashed, russet-tiled hotel has a small square, trickling fountains, a chapel and two generous pools. Transformed last year by Spanish family business Unico Hotels, it reopened in June as a 73-room, romantic but family-friendly luxury hotel.

To take advantage of the vast and peaceful estate — all ringing birdsong and secluded picnic spots — there are marked hiking or running trails ranging from 2km to 6km, bikes and e-bikes to borrow, yoga twice a week and tennis, padel and pickleball courts.

It’s one of those wellness hotels where you can design your own retreat: riding in the cool mornings, then a hearty local breakfast of pan con tomate, Iberico ham and fresh orange juice; perhaps a swim and read at the pool, lunch, then an afternoon walk or cycle, and a spa treatment to round things off.

Little luxe touches from Unico are everywhere — peppery, bright olive oil at the three chic restaurants is from sister property Finca Serena in Mallorca, as are the lavender spa products. There’s a “kids’ spa” which is almost more stylish than the adult one — a heated, indoor splash pool framed by retro pink and white stripes, with matching striped floaties and sunshine yellow towels laid out on crisp, minimalist shelves.

As so many guests are outdoors — not to mention off day-tripping to the Alhambra, Cordoba, Ronda or the Costa del Sol — the grown-up spa is a bubble of tranquility.

I spend a few hours lounging by its refreshing indoor pool, soaking in the heated whirlpool tub and sweating it out in an infrared sauna.

There’s even an invigorating bucket-shower in the emerald-tiled shower area. I’ve booked a massage, which hugely exceeds expectations — therapist Encarni, with the capable steeliness of a cabin crew manager, slathers me in richly scented lavender oil, managing to balance my request for medium pressure with working out the knots of a tired toddler mum. Yet her style is so flowing and gentle that I feel myself drift off, regaining consciousness with an unladylike snort.

Rooms here are generously sized and feel historic despite the 1980s pedigree — heavy dark-wood ceilings, whitewashed walls, linen sofas and throws, and artfully strewn-about books on Spanish landscape photography or contemporary art.

My bathroom is almost comically large, lined with rustic, toffee-coloured tile which wraps around a huge bathtub. I’m delighted to spot a “maxi-bar” — a full-sized drinks cabinet with multiple styles of glassware, pre-mixed cocktails in bottles (hello, white truffle negroni), Nespresso machine and retro black gooseneck kettle.

In the grounds, the two freeform pools have a country-club feel that goes with the horses and tennis — all pristine lawns and giant palms, with a bar playing gentle music and drinks service to your lounger.

When planning your DIY retreat, yoga is a must. Instructor Emma welcomes us on the redbrick terrace beneath La Jara restaurant, as the forested slopes beneath glow amber with the sunrise.

On smart, tan-coloured mats, we follow her blend of Hatha and Kundalini techniques. Like my masseuse, she manages to cover so much ground: a gentle start, plenty of deep breathing and stretches, a challenging portion to raise the heart rate, and a soothing, meditative wind-down, turbocharged by cicada chatter and toasty morning sunlight.

I want to bring every woman I know here. Every new mum juggling nursery comms, tantrums and purse-lipped bosses. Every hard-working career woman managing meetings, house, social life and forever staving off burnout. My own selfless and energetic mum, dedicating her retirement to friendships and caring for grandchildren.

Whether you go riding or not, everything here is designed to reset you — trying something new is just the icing on the cake.

Finca La Bobadilla has doubles from £384, B&B. Horseriding experiences from £110, spa treatments from £102