I gave up my career to care for my parents – now at 62, I live in their spare room

Elizabeth Wood spent years building a career while raising her two daughters alone, but after more than a decade caring for her elderly parents, she has been forced to move into their spare bedroom.

The 62-year-old previously juggled three jobs before retraining as a professional chef, and at one point earned enough on her own to support both her now-adult children through university and buy them a car each.

But when her parents’ health deteriorated rapidly 11 years ago, Elizabeth, an only child, found herself increasingly having to take care of them, and she struggled to balance their needs with her demanding career.

She initially reduced her hours, but eventually had to give up her job altogether because managing it alongside caring responsibilities became too overwhelming.

“I’ve been caring for my mum for 11 years and I’m absolutely knackered. I had to give up work because trying to work and care for my parents was physically killing me,” Elizabeth said.

“I’d gone part time but it was still too much, and eventually all my savings were gone. I had to move into my parents’ spare bedroom.”

Elizabeth now spends much of her time caring for her mother, although she has managed to start working a few hours a week at a florist.

“For a long time, caring has been my whole life. I don’t really have any time for myself,” she said.

She is far from alone in having to sacrifice her career and financial security to care for a loved one.

When Sara Wise’s 93-year-old mother fell and broke her leg last year, she was forced to give up her career in the NHS earlier than expected and become a full-time carer.

Sara, 58, from Reading, had been working part-time in project management when her previously independent mother suffered a fall that left her unable to live alone.

After three months in hospital, Sara and her husband decided to bring her mother to live with them.

But juggling work with caring for her mother, who now needs professional carers to visit four times a day, soon became impossible.

Sara Wise Money

By Christmas, Sara had resigned from her job, losing her £2,000 a month income and the opportunity to build up further pension benefits. She previously earned £50,000 a year when working full-time.

The NHS pension scheme is a defined benefit scheme, linked to earnings rather than an individual investment pot, so leaving work means Sara will miss out on building up further pension benefits.

Her husband is also planning to retire early to help with caring responsibilities, leaving the couple facing a very different financial future from the one they had anticipated.

“We thought it would be temporary. A year on, we’re still here,” Sara said. “It’s not the retirement we planned.”

They are among millions of unpaid carers across Britain whose responsibilities have affected their careers, savings and retirement plans.

Research published by charity Carers UK in September found that one in five workers now combines paid employment with unpaid caring responsibilities, compared with 15 per cent in 2019.

An estimated 1.1 million people have left employment to provide unpaid care in the past two years alone, equivalent to around 1,500 people giving up work every day.

That means losing earnings, often at an age when people are trying to save as much as possible for retirement.

What financial help can unpaid carers get?

If you’re looking after a relative or someone else, you may be entitled to financial support, even if you don’t consider yourself a full-time carer.

Carer’s Allowance is a benefit for people who spend at least 35 hours a week caring for someone else, currently worth £86.45 a week, or £4,495.40 a year.

To qualify in England and Wales, the person you’re caring for must also receive an eligible disability benefit, such as Attendance Allowance or the daily living component of Personal Independence Payment (PIP).

You also can’t earn more than £204 a week after tax, National Insurance and certain allowable expenses.

However, Carer’s Allowance can affect other benefits received by you or the person you’re caring for, so check before applying. Scotland has a separate Carer Support Payment.

If you’re an unpaid carer, you could also protect your future State Pension entitlement by claiming Carer’s Credit.

If you’re below State Pension age and care for someone for at least 20 hours a week, you may qualify for National Insurance credits that help fill gaps in your record.

Carer’s Credit doesn’t provide money directly, but it could prevent you losing valuable qualifying years towards your State Pension.

Universal credit

Universal credit could provide further support for carers on a low income, including an additional carer element if you meet the relevant conditions. However, Carer’s Allowance is deducted from universal credit payments.

It’s also worth checking whether the person you’re caring for qualifies for Attendance Allowance, worth between £76.70 and £114.60 a week for eligible people over State Pension age who need help or supervision.

You can also request a free carer’s assessment from your local council, which may identify support such as respite care or help with practical tasks.

You can check your entitlement using a free benefits calculator on Turn2us or entitledto, or seek advice from Citizens Advice and Carers UK.

Original source I gave up my career to care for my parents – now at 62, I live in their spare room

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