If you asked me a few years ago to picture how my twenties would look, I’d have imagined a diary full of after-work drinks, spontaneous weekends away and a group chat that never went quiet.
The reality now, at the age of 24, is that I live three hours away from my closest friends and see them just once a year, some even less. And although this feels controversial to admit having such little face-time with friends, I am completely fine with it.
After moving from Buckinghamshire to Cheshire, my friendships changed. There’s no “fancy coffee tomorrow?” texts, morning walks or weekend shopping, it’s a constant battle of co-ordinating annual leave months in advance with plans that never come to fruition. If I judged my friendships by how often I physically saw people, I’d conclude that I don’t have much of a social life at all.
Ukraine launches ‘massive’ drone attack more than 600 miles inside Russia
Ukraine has launched a deadly drone attack on a major Russian oil refinery, the regional authorities have said.
What happened?
Ukraine launched a drone attack on a major Russian oil refinery in the Tatarstan region, more than 600 miles into the country.
The mayor of Nizhnekamsk, Radmir Belyayev, now says at least 12 people have been killed and a further 39 injured in the attack on the city.
Watch the fallout from the attack on the Russian oil refinery
Recent attacks on Russian oil
The TANECO refinery, owned by Russian oil company Tatneft, is located in Nizhnekamsk and was also hit by Ukraine in early June.
On 6 July, Kyiv struck Russia’s biggest oil refinery in Omsk – more than 1,500 miles from the Ukrainian border – and forced it to halt operations.
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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez announces decision to freeze eggs
New York Democratic congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has revealed that she has decided to freeze her eggs.
What happened?
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), 36, has announced she is going to freeze her eggs and will be sharing the process online.
The congresswoman revealed her decision to undergo fertility treatment in a series of Instagram stories this weekend. “This is a choice that I am making to feel more in control of my life,” Ocasio-Cortez said.
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Why is AOC sharing her journey publicly?
I think it’s important for us as leaders to have these conversations and share these processes.
In an interview on , Ocasio-Cortez also said she wanted to “normalise” conversations about the process, adding that it was important “especially in this political environment”.
How cutting exercise drives up likelihood of cancer
According to new research, dropping even just a few minutes of vigorous exercise every day can push up the risk of cancer.
Here is everything you need to know.
What are the risks?
Experts have found that swapping exercise for more sedentary behaviour – such as watching an episode of a TV soap opera or sitting at a desk – drives up the cancer risk by up to 15 per cent.
They also warned that people who have been active during their lives should do all they can to maintain exercise, as even small drops in activity can affect health.
What does the research show?
What was studied?
The research, published in , looked at people’s lifestyles to find the link between exercise cancer risk.
Who was studied?
The analysis included 59,218 people (55 per cent female) with an average age of 61.7 from the UK.
The outcome
The research found that the more people moved, the lower their risk of cancer.
What can you do to reduce the risk?
- 1Replacing 15 minutes of sedentary behaviour with 15 minutes of movement were each linked to a 2 per cent reduced risk of cancer.
- 2Swapping 30 minutes of movement for 30 minutes of sedentary behaviour increased the risk by 8 per cent.
- 3While swapping it for sleep increased the risk by 7 per cent.
The expert view
The take-home message is that for people already leading physically active lives, it’s really important to maintain that level of activity as you get older.
Dr John Mitchell, lead author from University College London
Are you having as much sex as everyone else?
It’s natural for libido to wax and wane due to life events, dating status or hormonal changes.
And it can be hard to say what a “normal” sexual frequency is. But research and case studies give us a rough idea.
The statistics
When it happens
61%
A 2023 survey concluded that almost two thirds (61 per cent) of us wait until night-time to have sex.
Only 14 per cent opt to get busy in the early evening, and 10 per cent in the morning.
Research from 2019 suggests that the average number of times British live-in or married couples have sex per month is three.
Are Gen Z having less sex than older people?
I see my partner on the weekends and have sex with others in the week.
Leanne, a 27-year-old influencer from Bristol has sex three or four times a week, but only sees her long-distance partner on the weekends. They have agreed they can both sleep with other people during the week.
35-year-old Rebecca usually sleeps with her partner once or twice per week due to not having much child-free time.
Clare, 32, says her job is busy and she has to schedule sex with her partner on weekends, or some afternoons twice a month. “Occasionally this slips and I do worry that it makes us not as connected,” she says.
I haven’t had the issue of my sex life drying up with menopause. I’m more aroused now.
I’ve been married for 15 years. I love my husband, but our sex life is non-existent, and has been for about five years.
I’m not really motivated to seek out partners; I vaguely like the idea of it but not enough to take any action.
I’ve been married for 20 years and sex has become something of a rarity. We maybe have sex once a week on a Sunday morning as we’re both relaxed and I can take Viagra late on Saturday night – without it, I can’t perform.
JACK, 63, OFFICE WORKER, KENT
The seven rules that could save your marriage
Keep your sense of self
I did what I thought I was supposed to do and forgot my needs and wants. I think it’s really important that you’re an individual and not just a person who is married.
KATIE STRATFORD*, A 55-YEAR-OLD MUM OF TWO, WHO DIVORCED ATER 19 YEARS
Seven rules to save your marriage
The small things
Small things, like being brought a cup of tea or saying thank you, make a big difference.
Karen Deulofeu, who ended her six-year marriage, believes all couples should seek support, even before they think they need it.
Listen properly by repeating what you have heard and ask if you’ve got that right.
Don’t lose communication
People don’t talk about the deep issues; nobody else is going to do it for you. You don’t want to ask questions because it might rock the boat…you have to keep talking, and talk about what it is that you want within the relationship to keep going forward.
KATIE STRATFORD
Seven rules to save your marriage
Remember that things change
“What you see on social media and what friends say is quite often the nice version. Everything is a phase,” says Deulofeu.
Look at yourself first
“Focus on what’s in your control and what you can do differently, rather than the other person or a situation that you can’t control. Invest in understanding yourself,” she adds.
There are things that all mid-life men should know about keeping their hearts healthy.
From eating more purple fruit to avoiding large bowls of pasta, consultant cardiologist Dr Zoe Astroulakis [below] shares her simple lifestyle habits she wishes her patients would take on board.
Positive changes to make
Swap ‘bad’ fats for healthy ones
You don’t need to eat a fat-free diet; the key is to reduce your saturated fat. Reduce your dairy and swap your red meat for lean meat such as chicken and oily fish.
Control your portions
You don’t need more carbohydrates in a meal than you can fit in your hand. Enormous plates of pasta can cause blood sugar spikes, which can lead to health problems.
Positive changes to make
Look for purple
Blueberries, black grapes and aubergines are great for boosting “good” cholesterol.
Have oats
Porridge is one of the healthiest breakfast options because it’s full of soluble fibre.
Stop taking cocaine
It can provoke a massive heart attack, even in younger people who don’t have existing artery problems.
Stay below the alcohol limit
- The NHS guidelines of 14 units per week is still more than 1,000 additional calories.
- The safest level to aim for is zero.
- If you’re drinking, make sure you have some alcohol-free days each week and space it out.
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Positive changes to make
Do cardio too
Don’t only focus on lifting weights. It might make you look toned, but it says nothing about the health of your heart.
Check your levels
You can get free blood pressure checks in many pharmacies or you can buy a monitor for around £30 to use at home.
Avoid night shifts
It disrupts the body’s circadian rhythm and can lead to increased cholesterol.
A sign to look out for
A beer belly is a sign you need to make urgent changes
It’s usually a sign you’re drinking too much. By the time your belly starts to bulge, it’s a sign that you’re consuming excess calories and storing too much fat internally.
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Want a new career but worried it’s too late?
Mid-life is not too late to start again, says experienced recruiter Elizabeth Willetts [below].
Here, Willetts shares the best jobs to switch to during midlife if you want a change – without sacrificing pay.
Changing careers in your fifties
Mid-life career pivots can lead to higher earnings.
7.4%
According to the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development, workers aged 45 to 54 who voluntarily pivot jobs see an average wage growth of 7.4 per cent.
3.5%
And those aged 55 to 64 still see a 3.5 per
cent increase.
The AARP Global Employee Survey also found that over half of workers who changed jobs voluntarily experienced improvements in work flexibility and mental health.
So what job options are there?
Virtual assistant
As a virtual assistant your workload will be very varied and it could be anything from tidying inboxes, booking travel, sending invoices or updating spreadsheets.
You can start out earning around £20 to £35 an hour, but it can scale into agency work, launch support or even project management. Some earn very well.
What it involves
You will source, screen and interview candidates to match them with the right job roles.
Who it’s for
You don’t need any qualifications but it’s suited to communicators and commercially-minded people.
The pay
The salary van vary from £25 to £50k, but you can earn around £100k depending on commission.
Jobs to switch to in your fifties
Estate agent
It offers flexible hours and weekend staff can earn £15 per hour.
This form of coaching for businesses could earn around £250 to £1,000 per day.
In the lower end, a sales rep can make £30k and on the higher end £50-60k, plus commission.
Why coaching is a good option
Coaching is incredibly varied and can be anything from career coaching, to confidence and leadership coaching.
- As it is an unregulated industry, you don’t need qualifications but the more reputable option is the International Coaching Federation.
- It’s a great career option for older people because clients genuinely value your wealth of life experience.
- It’s flexible, scalable, and you can start doing it part-time alongside another role.
- It could make you anything from £200 an hour, all the way up to £500 p/h+.
This can be across HR, operations, marketing, finance, people strategy or project management, as it’s varied.
Price on value, not hours – if your advice saves a client £200k, charging £150 an hour undersells what you’re worth.
Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
We’re constantly told that Britain, specifically my generation, are in the grip of a loneliness epidemic. The “friendship recession” has become a phrase used to describe Gen Zers struggling to build and maintain close relationships, more so than other ages. According to the latest State of Friendship report, one in 10 Britons reported having no close friends at all and Gen Z were twice as likely as the over-70s to experience chronic loneliness. Young adults are supposedly the most disconnected in history.
Yet recently a new narrative has been emerging on TikTok and Instagram through “loneliness influencers”. Videos are filled with creators romanticising solo dates, celebrating cancelled plans, talking about “protecting their peace” and insisting that having one or two close friends is enough. Clips posted about spending Saturday nights alone are attracting millions of views.
Rather than feeling bad for a quiet social life, young adults are starting to embrace it. I’m one of them. I love my own company, but I wouldn’t class myself as lonely. Recently I am beginning to wonder whether we’ve confused being lonely with simply being alone.
Professor Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Oxford, says loneliness is less about the number of people around us and more about the quality of our relationships. “You can be lonely in a crowd,” he says.
My closest friendships now exist through voice notes every few weeks, sharing random memes and infrequent catch-ups. Only recently did I find out that one of my best friends at home bought a puppy six months ago. I responded to her with an image of the puppy I had bought three months ago. We don’t keep tabs on each other’s lives, saving it for a once or twice a year catch-up in the same room, but our friendship is still there.
I’m not alone in this. One 27-year-old tells me that she has one close friend and sees her every three months. “I spend most days on my own and that’s what my life is built around,” she says. “I can choose what I want to do, and when I see her it feels special, we have a lot to say.”
My sister, aged 20, has no close friends, and has never had a big friendship group. She lives close enough to see people more often than I do but, as she puts it, she enjoys her own company and will mostly cancel plans if she makes them as she “can’t be bothered”.
Like her, I have no desire to fill my evenings with seeing other people, my social battery has reduced with age, I get bored with most small talk. It seems plenty of people feel the same.
Influencer Tam Kaur, who has more than 700,000 followers on TikTok, posts her solo dates, including going for coffee, meals and visiting art galleries. Her videos regularly receive over 50,000 views, with comments agreeing with her that being alone is a form of self-love. Others are filled with comments like: “My social battery runs out so quickly”, or talk about regularly cancelling plans with friends.
Dunbar says “a break [from friends] is certainly as good as a rest. The social whirlwind is quite stressful, especially if you’re engaged at full pace with parties every week. But if you don’t see your friends for more than three months, you may have difficulty reconvening them. They are likely to have moved on.
“It’s fine for influencers to say how wonderful it is to be alone but they are probably extroverts and extroverts are happy to have more friends of weaker quality because they have the social confidence to butterfly around.”
Of course, the other side is shown online too; alongside people embracing being alone are countless others posting about friendship break-ups, struggling to make friends after university or feeling isolated during their twenties. The loneliness statistics among the younger generation, that have been linked to poorer mental health, cannot be dismissed, but there’s also a difference between having no meaningful relationships and not wanting your diary filled with plans.
For years ,social media felt like it encouraged us to compare ourselves with other people’s friendship groups, holidays and birthday dinners. A profile filled with group images looked like proof you were popular, and for the first year living in Manchester I mourned the feeling of having no friends around, feeling a hint of jealousy when I saw these big groups online.
Now that there has been a noticeable shift: people like me are becoming more honest about having smaller circles, and rejecting the idea that adulthood should involve maintaining dozens of friendships at once, more people are admitting that they’re fine, even happier.
I’m intrigued to know whether that has been a genuine cultural change or this is simply another social media trend but I, for one, am not lonely. I think we’ve become too obsessed with quantity over quality, and, no, I don’t have regular contact with my friends, but I know I could call them if I needed to.
Dunbar says the optimum number of the type of friends that you can cry to is five, although it can vary between men (four to five) and women (five to six). “We see some hint that having more than five friends is detrimental for health, almost certainly because you spread your social capacity and time to invest in friends too thin among them, and we know that means that friendships are of lower emotional quality.”
I can’t say I have five best friends that I’d call myself but the two I do have back home I enjoy seeing. When we do eventually get together, it’s one of my favourite things to do. We spend hours catching up on everything we’ve missed, usually wondering why we don’t make it happen more often but the “we’ll do this sooner next time” never happens. If anything, seeing each other so infrequently makes me appreciate that time even more.
Dunbar tells me it is important to not let these phases of no communication go on too long, though. “Social skills are like muscles, if you don’t use them you lose them,” he says.
Luckily, I haven’t become a complete hermit that lacks the ability to have a conversation. I live with my boyfriend, although he works long hours and I’m often at home by myself, and I speak to many people for work. Of course, we all need people, it’s not to say we need no connection but I’ve realised that doesn’t have to mean a diary packed with plans.
Do I sometimes wonder whether I should make more of an effort? Yes. There are moments when I wish my closest friends lived around the corner, rather than three hours away for the convenience and spontaneity but I no longer feel lonely.
I might not have the big group chat I pictured a few years ago, but I’m happier now with my quiet social life because it doesn’t automatically make it a lonely one. Despite what social media once had me jealous of, I’d rather spend most evenings alone than have 100 people to brunch with for Instagram.