Divorce, once rare and stigmatised, has become mainstream – 42 per cent of marriages now end this way, meaning nearly half of us who get married can expect to experience it in our lifetime. Just as every marriage is different, so is every divorce. In this column, divorcees reflect on their life-changing experience. Helped by the benefit of hindsight, they share advice and reflections.
Jack*, 45, from Cornwall, is the father of Ronnie, four. Since his marriage to Ronnie’s mum, Jemma, ended in 2023, he says he regrets becoming a father.
When I first met Jemma*, we had the chat all couples do about plans for the future and what we both wanted. We wanted a family but we were young and in our twenties, so I thought I had plenty of time. Looking back, I’m not sure I was 100 per cent on board, but Jemma wanted them and I wanted to make her happy. We had a great few years adventuring and travelling together, but after building our own house in 2014, we decided to start trying for a family in 2017.
We were unsuccessful but both put it down to stress and the fact we had difficult jobs. After a year of trying, we sold the house we bought and decided to take a break for a while. We did the health checks needed and they all came back fine so we thought it was just a matter of time, and maybe reducing our stress levels.
A few years later, we started trying again, and while we’d talked about IVF we both had been told everything worked, so were loath to go down a route we didn’t have to. We’d done all our research and were close to qualifying for IVF on the NHS – in our postcode we needed two years of unprotected sex to qualify for it.
‘Penises and nuns’ – The Bayeux Tapestry’s curious history
The legendary woven record of the Norman Conquest has been unveiled to the public in the UK for the first time. As it goes on display at the British Museum, here’s what we know about its extraordinary history.
What you need to know
Back in Britain
The tapestry recording the Norman Conquest of 1066 is back in the UK for the .
Deal with France
It is as part of a special deal between the UK, France and the British Museum.
Medieval wonder
Considered one of the wonders of the medieval world, it offers insight into 11th-century England.
Watch more from The i Paper
Tapestry’s curious history
- It is believed to have been commissioned by the half-brother of William the Conqueror.
- The consensus now is that it was made not in France but by nuns near Canterbury.
- The soldier with the arrow through his eye might not be King Harold, but historians are uncertain.
- The may be random comic irrelevances or commentary on the story.
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How to get tickets
- The tapestry is on show at the British Museum from 10 September until 11 July 2027.
- Tickets are sold out until a release on 21 October, with details on the museum’s website.
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The new illnesses pharmacists can treat under NHS scheme
Pharmacists will be able to treat people with migraines, acne and several other conditions as the NHS’ “Pharmacy First” scheme is expanded this autumn.
What you need to know
Pharmacy scheme
The NHS scheme allows people to receive care for common illnesses from pharmacists without seeing a GP.
New conditions
From autumn, people can get help for acne, migraines, scabies, certain ear infections and allergic rhinitis.
Expanded offering
It adds to the seven conditions pharmacies can already treat.
The changes in full
- Pharmacies can already treat seven conditions under the Pharmacy First scheme.
- They are impetigo, infected insect bites, shingles, sinusitis, earache, sore throat and .
- Once fully rolled out, the scheme’s expansion means pharmacies will now be able to treat 12 conditions.
What the NHS says
The NHS expects between two and three million consultations for the new list of five conditions that can be held in pharmacies. It is hoped this will take pressure off the NHS.
Dr Amanda Doyle of NHS England said people can get treatment “quickly and conveniently on local high streets”.
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Burnham’s thoughts
People are fed up with the scramble for routine appointments
The Prime Minister Andy Burnham said: “Treating people closer to home means catching problems earlier, easing pressure on GPs and A&E and giving people back precious time.”
Hospital waiting lists spike
It comes as the waiting list for routine hospital treatment in England has risen to its highest level for nine months. An estimated 7.33 million treatments were waiting to be carried out at the end of July, relating to 6.21 million patients, according to NHS figures. The numbers are the highest since October 2025, when the list stood at 7.40 million treatments and 6.24 million patients.
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August was world’s joint hottest month on
August was the joint hottest month ever recorded, with global temperatures soaring 1.65C above pre-industrial times.
Scientists say it is another “warning siren” for climate change. Here’s what you need to know.
What you need to know
Record temps
August 2026 tied July 2023 for the planet’s hottest month on record, according to the EU’s Copernicus Climate Change Service.
Fossil fuels impact
Last month was 1.65°C above the average for the period 1850-1900, before humans burned fossil fuels at scale.
Warmer seas
Sea surface temperatures hit 21.07C, a joint high mark with March 2024.
The impact of record heat
Heatwaves in August continued a run of extreme heat that began in May, with severe drought hitting the UK, France, Hungary and Serbia. Major rivers from the Rhine to the Danube saw exceptionally low flows.
Under 2015’s Paris Agreement, countries agreed to limit global warming to “well below” 2C above pre-industrial levels.
3 min read
What the scientists say
Samantha Burgess, strategic lead for climate at ECMWF, said the latest temperature data shows how “climate change is driving extremes across both the atmosphere and the oceans”.
Gareth Redmond-King, of the Energy and Climate Intelligence Unit, said a “warning siren” was sounding two months before the COP 31 summit.
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How El Niño could impact UK weather
The United Nations says the world is in a “danger zone of extreme weather”, with warnings that aeroplane turbulence and food shortages could affect Britons.
How hot drinks can raise cancer risk
Frequently consuming drinks at very high temperatures increases the risk of oesophageal cancer – cancer of the food pipe or gullet – UK research suggests.
A three times higher chance
The study, from Oxford Population Health at the University of Oxford, included nearly a million people and found those who drank “very hot” drinks had about a three times higher risk of oesophageal .
Hot liquid may damage the cell lining of the food pipe as it travels down to the stomach, which could increase the risk of cancer developing, though the overall risk is low.
3 min read
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How hot is too hot?
The research, published in the , did not record the temperature of drinks. But the International Agency for Research on Cancer has classified drinking beverages above 65°C as “probably carcinogenic”.
Drinking six or more hot beverages a day also increases the risk, data from 977,282 middle-aged men and women in this latest study shows.
A rare cancer
The researchers said that one or two in every 10 oesophageal cancers could be avoided if people stopped consuming hot drinks.
The cancer is rare, though, with only around 1 per cent of the UK population at risk of being diagnosed with this type of cancer.
- Other factors, such as smoking, pose a comparatively bigger risk for developing oesophageal cancer.
What to do
- Letting drinks cool down before drinking or adding cold milk can negate the risk, experts agreed.
- Researchers said the temperature at which coffee and tea is drunk in Western populations is estimated to be .
- “More research is needed to identify the exact drink temperatures linked to increased risk,” the researchers added.
3 min read
How the King’s pointed letter ‘surprised’ Harry and Meghan
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex were “surprised” by the release of a letter on behalf of King Charles this week clarifying their status as “akin to private citizen”, according to a spokesperson for the couple.
Here’s what we know.
No titles, little warning
- A top Buckingham Palace official sent the letter to military officials and Government departments on Monday.
- It stated that as non-working royals, the Sussexes will not use the titles of “His and Her Royal Highness”.
- The couple “were a little surprised not to have been told about this in advance,” their spokesperson said.
- Their team was still seeking guidance when it was released, The i Paper understands.
2 min read
No chance for clarification
The Sussexes did not have enough time to clarify any points before the guidance was issued to the media, it is understood.
- The letter’s contents were reportedly shared with their team at 1:59pm.
- Team Sussex replied to Buckingham Palace at 2:19pm, seeking clarification on one or two points.
- The letter was revealed to the media at 3:06pm on Monday.
- Harry was in a meeting and could not be contacted until 3:09pm.
- Team Sussex received confirmation at 3:11pm that the letter had been sent to the media.
Why are the titles important?
The reference to the HRH title was seen as an attempt to slap the Sussexes down amid concerns that the couple may want to monetise their royal status, including via Meghan’s lifestyle products brand, As Ever.
The title was seen in a video Meghan posted accompanying a podcast last year.
3 min read
Watch more from The i Paper
Harry, a ‘private citizen’?
- The letter clarified that “in short, their position is akin to private citizens with commercial and charitable interests”.
- But a friend of the couple previously told The i Paper that Harry, as the King’s son, could never be an entirely private citizen.
- “Some people will say, ‘But they’re private citizens.’ Nonsense. Utter nonsense. They are two of the most high-profile people in the world,” the friend added.
Not a quiet word in your ear, not a private memo; no, this was a formal, blunt statement of fact sent to Harry on his father’s orders. Ouch! There is to be no doubt: the King is not going to be bounced into accepting any change in the Sussexes’ status just because they have chosen to return to the UK.
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No ‘half in, half out’ option
Charles and Prince William are said to be worried that family members doing business deals alongside official duties for the state opens themselves up to the sort of abuse of position accusations facing the King’s brother, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor.
- This led to them clarifying that Harry and Meghan won’t be attending state functions or official engagements.
Who will fund the Sussexes’ security?
The couple returned to the country for what they called an extended period on 26 August, after quitting royal duties in 2020. Their children have reportedly been enrolled in English schools.
The row over who will pay for their security is ongoing, with the couple currently paying for it but lobbying the Royal and VIP Executive Committee (Ravec) – which is set to meet this week – for taxpayer-funded police protection.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
5 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
It was around then, though, that things started to change for me. Jemma had changed over the years of trying, and I suppose I had too. It seemed like we’d have six or eight months of every year or two where things were normal and we’d be fine, but once we were in a cycle of trying, things would go downhill and Jemma would withdraw and our whole lives would revolve around getting pregnant. I hated it. There were apps, ovulation kits, urgent calls and messages that meant we had to have sex straight away; I realised around this time that I didn’t want a baby.
With hindsight, I’m not sure either of us thought through the realities of raising a child. We wanted children; we struggled to have them, so we focused on that bit rather than thinking past the conceiving and giving birth. It’s almost like I wanted a child more than I wanted to be a dad forever. I just grew more disenfranchised with the idea of raising a child, and also with Jemma, with every passing cycle and month. I realised I wanted to leave the marriage.
I was trying to find the right time to have the conversation with Jemma when one day in 2022, she messaged me from work with a picture of a positive pregnancy test.
I’m aware of how awful it sounds but at that moment, it felt like my whole world caved in. It’s weird because it was a huge sense of relief that things were working physically like we’d been told, and I could see how delighted Jemma finally was, but I wasn’t excited at the prospect of becoming a father in a marriage I’d seriously considered ending. I felt trapped – there was no way I could tell her I didn’t want a baby and no way I could leave. She thought it was something we both wanted and had been working towards for years; it would have shattered her if I had let her down.
After wrestling with those thoughts for a couple of days, I decided to give fatherhood, and the marriage, my best shot. After all, at one point I’d loved Jemma enough to marry her and we had both started off both wanting a family. I wondered whether my reticence was just fatigue and that would all change once I held my child in my arms.
Ronnie* was born later in 2022 and while I love him, I knew the second he was handed to me I didn’t want to be a dad and my marriage was over. I didn’t bond at all. Yes I could take care of him, but there wasn’t a shred of excitement about his birth.
I tried for another six months but left Jemma just after Ronnie was seven months old. I don’t know whether I’d have felt the same if we’d got pregnant right off the bat, but I won’t ever know. I honestly think the delay to parenthood and the pressure it put on me and us was a slow, creeping nail in the coffin.
Our marriage ending wasn’t acrimonious; in fact, we split on decent terms and still get on pretty well. Ronnie’s four now and thriving with joint custody between the two of us, but a part of me really resents Jemma for making me a father when I didn’t really want to be one.
I’ll never ever tell Jemma, though; it would undo things too much for her. I often wonder how many people make the mistake of striving for something, then regretting it when you get it.
I’ve confessed how I feel to one friend who says I’m wrong to blame Jemma and that it took both of us to become parents. I know he’s right: I should have spoken up earlier. I should have said I wasn’t sure – I guess a bit of me just figured it hadn’t worked all the other times, so it wouldn’t work this time either.
I look back on that period really sadly – why didn’t I say anything? Why wasn’t I honest? Why did I just go along with it hoping it wouldn’t happen? It seems idiotic now but back then I was on the conveyor belt and just went with it all.
Ronnie’s a great kid but that doesn’t remove how I feel about becoming his parent. We get on really well and of course I love him, but that sits in a separate column to the fact I didn’t want to be a parent. It’s nothing to do with him at all: I’d decided I didn’t want to be with Jemma – which meant I wanted a fresh start and a new life without her in it. As we now have Ronnie, she’ll always be in my life and I guess I resent that a bit too.
I’ve moved on. I have been with my new partner for a year and she gets on well with Ronnie, which is great. I’ve been told I’m a good dad and I adore my son, but I’ll never feel truly at ease with the circumstances that brought him into the world and the fact I had a child when I really didn’t want one.
Of course I won’t ever tell him how I feel, and I’d never ever have the conversation with Jemma about it either because we have to co-parent for the rest of our lives and that’s not a wound I want to open.
I have Ronnie 50 per cent of the time and we have a great time together. He loves a lot of the things I do – like football – and I’m proud of the little boy he’s becoming, but it’s really difficult knowing I’m a parent now and will be for the rest of my life – I guess it’s mostly my fault for not speaking up; it’s just that the consequences back then seemed so huge.
I should have thought about the future, though, because the consequences of having Ronnie are far bigger and longer-lasting than the consequences of upsetting Jemma. I should have just said I didn’t want children.
* Names have been changed for anonymity