“How did it get to this?” I was sitting on a rooftop restaurant on the Amalfi coast — surrounded by friends, my ambitions of having a career in journalism achieved, my physique goals largely reached — looking at a giant pizza as if it were some behemoth I had to fend off. How many hours of incline walking would I need to burn it off? Would it derail the years I’d spent toiling to reach my current leanness? Would I lose control again, slide down a slippery slope back to my formerly “skinnyfat” existence?
It’s absurd, tragic almost, that an idyllic scene — in the birthplace of pizza, no less — would be the source of tortuous mental arithmetic. It finally dawned on me that my fitness journey had imprisoned me into a state of body dysmorphia. I needed an escape.
A few years earlier, things looked starkly different. I had moved from finishing my Master’s at Cambridge to Italy to be a freelance writer, found an apartment in central Rome, and finally embraced my life as a gay man. My dating experiences before were less Call Me By Your Name than they were He’s Just Not That Into You; a string of romantic failures and lacklustre “situationships”. I felt like the guys wanted someone who fit their bodily ideal more closely, which they either expressed directly, or was clear from their dating profiles. I turned to fitness culture to turn a ripped heart into ripped abs.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
5 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.
Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.
Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships
The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.
Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.
Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.
What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.
Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
How to age well
without pain
Will Harlow, a physiotherapist
for the over-50s and author of Independence for Life, shares
the key signs you’re ageing
badly – and what to do about it.
How to know
Ageing well is maintaining the ability to do what you want you want for as long as you want without needing help. Everyone is talking about longevity but what’s the point in living longer if the last decade is painful and you’re [totally] reliant on people?”
The signs to look out for
- The most obvious early warning sign of bad ageing is pain says Harlow.
- Another is losing confidence in doing daily tasks, which can quickly lead to a lack of independence.
- One call Harlow often receives is people calling after having a fall and struggling to get up.
4 min read
How to age without pain
Not just stopping
When people retire, they often put their feet up and stop. Your body really is use it or lose it.
Throughout our entire lives, Harlow says we need between seven and nine hours of sleep.
Social isolation
The lack of connection can increase the risk of premature death by
as much as 29 per cent.
Strength training
It really is the proxy for
overall independence.
The more muscle mass you have, the less chance of heart disease, diabetes, falls and even anxiety, depression and dementia.
The brain can be linked to muscle mass too, Harlow says. It’s not just about being able to lift things. It gives you more energy, better sleep and you’ll look and feel better.
How to age without pain
Daily habits
Do short bursts of exercise, between 30 and 60 seconds, in otherwise dead time during the day.
Stretch in bed
Take joints through a full range of motion for five minutes to loosen it before getting up.
Don’t crash diet
How to age without pain
Harlow advises 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight to stop muscle loss alongside resistance training.
Don’t wait
Harlow finds that many patients put off making a change to their lifestyle until their lives are consumed by pain.
For most people, it’s about reducing the number of times per week you’re exercising, not reducing intensity.
The three ageing tests to do
- Lie completely flat on the floor and get back up to a standing position using any technique. This should take less than 10 seconds.
See how many times you can sit on the chair and stand back up again in 30 seconds. Men should be aiming for more than 14 times and women 12.
The single-leg stand, which involves standing on one leg and balancing for 10 seconds. Everyone should be able to do that and for those under 65, Harlow asks them to do it with their eyes closed.
Despite the job market hiring fewer entry-level roles, employers are still looking for grads…
But you should be prepared to keep an open mind.
We’ve compiled the sectors hiring graduate roles, what degree is required, and what they pay.
The degrees to choose for a career
Hiring in the UK could
finally be on the up
47%
of employers offered entry-level
positions from July.
That is up nearly 15 per cent from the same period last year.
700,000
But graduate unemployment rose to six per cent in 2025 and 700,000 jobless graduates were claiming benefits.
Finance and insurance
- Around 42 per cent of UK finance and insurance employers say they will be open to graduate roles this summer.
- Business loan company Portman Finance Group has taken on 50 graduates over the past four years.
Portman graduates start on £36,000 for the two-year programme and the education you need to apply is a minimum “ABB” of A-levels, and a 2:1 or above university degree. But not in a specific subject.
Trade and logistics
What makes it particularly rewarding is that there’s always something to learn.
Nearly half (47 per cent) of trade and logistics companies will be giving graduates a go this year.
Salaries start at £30,000 with an uncapped bonus, rising to £50,000 plus a company car as a senior account partner.
Technology and IT
More than half (52 per cent) of UK tech and IT firms are actively looking for graduates.
Successful entry-level candidates can earn a basic salary of up to £35,000, with the opportunity to triple that within their first three years of working.
4 min read
Public sector, health
and social services
46 per cent of public sector, health and social services organisations are also ready to take graduates, according to a survey by Manpower.
- For example, Police Now runs a graduate programme into policing. They recruit graduates from any degree field, as long as they achieve a 2:2 or above. Starting salaries range from £31,164 to £42,210 depending on location and rising each year.
Can we treat guests without blowing our budget?
According to Waitrose, a dinner party revival is underway led by younger people trying to reduce the cost of getting together.
Always have bread
People will feast on the
ELLA RISBRIDGER, AUTHOR OF THE KITCHEN BOOK – GOOD FOOD FOR EVERY DAY
bread, and then need less fish/steak/expensive whatever. All small plates restaurants know this: this is why the first thing on the menu is always artisan bread and butter.
Use vegetables as centrepieces
Add pantry items
Graham’s recipes include a braised cabbage with a preserved lemon sauce, a roast cauliflower with saffron, and harrisa roast carrots with mango labneh.
How to host on a budget
Improve the everyday
Guests will always appreciate a stellar interpretation of the ordinary. Think lasagna or curry.
Cooking dinner for your guests is spoiling them – you’re being generous with your time, your effort, and your home. So don’t feel the need to go overboard elsewhere.
Ask for help
Ask friends to bring a contribution, be it a nibble or a pudding.
Big platter energy
[Presentation] can be the key to elevating something . Spaghetti and tomato sauce suddenly looks like a feast when tumbled on a lovely big plate, dressed with olive oil and parmesan and placed in the middle of the table.
Food writer and editor Eleanor Steafel
How to host on a budget
Taco party
Have one expensive filling, like shredded chicken, and two cheaper options, like refried beans, says Ella Risbridger.
Shop-bought ice cream is so easily zhuzhed up with the help of handy toppings, says Eleanor Steafel.
Of course, my self-esteem issues ran deeper and I should have known the risks – I had a diagnosed history of OCD, body dysmorphia, and binge-restrict eating in my teenage boarding school days. But the things that made me insecure in my English boarding school environment – my stronger Italian facial features, for instance — had resolved by my early twenties. So I committed to a seemingly positive life course-correction, without realising that months of adrenaline, gym pumps, and physique changes would degenerate into an all-consuming spiral of obsession and misery.
Conversations about body image and eating disorders are back in the limelight. “SkinnyTok” content, weight-loss GLP-1 drugs, and Hollywood celebrities visibly wasting away before our very eyes has forced us to reckon with the fact the mid-2010s “body positivity” explosion has floundered. The girls are shrinking — but what is happening to the boys?
Estimates from Beat suggest one in four of those battling an eating disorder are men, while clinical research shows men face body dysmorphia at almost the same rate as women. For gay and queer boys, it’s often worse. One of the prevailing issues is muscle dysmorphia and muscle-oriented eating disorders, also known as “bigorexia”.
The dangerous new aesthetic being sold to men is associated with lean muscularity: visible abs, low body fat, the Michelangelo’s David-to-Instagram “fitness model” pipeline. You’ve got to be bigger, but also leaner – not the simplest of ideals to achieve. The role of social media and especially “looksmaxxing” – the manosphere-adjacent culture of optimising appearance that has seeped into the mainstream – has further exacerbated the problem.
Muscle dysmorphia can take the forms of restrictive eating, obsessive training, or exaggerated macro goals, like overdoing protein intake. In a significant minority, it might even mean resorting to potentially dangerous, poorly tested substances like injecting peptides, or the outright illegal, such as steroids. What was once largely the realm of strictly competitive bodybuilding — concepts like “bulking” and “cutting”, above all — have become so entrenched in current fitness culture that one Canadian study from 2022 reported 48.9 per cent of 16- to 30-year-olds engage in these practices.
Changing my narrow-framed, soft-edged 5ft 6” body was a year-long recomposition effort. I lost around 6kg of body fat and gained a similar amount of muscle, trained six hours a week, and worked with a professional sports nutritionist who took monthly measurements. Hundreds of pounds were cashed out on visits, supplements, and protein powders. Love handles were replaced with defined obliques and my abs were now visible in photos. It changed the way men approached me both on and offline. Fitness was no longer a hobby: it was a new identity I had to keep building – and preserve at all costs.
Every time I didn’t commit to my workouts as planned, deviated from my diet, didn’t hit a macro goal, the nagging worry of “losing control” crept in. The response? Clamp down harder. Work out more. Eat “cleaner”. The closer I got to my physique goals, ironically, the more flaws I noticed. I scanned for physique changes relentlessly, I counted calories; social meals became a source of stress rather than relaxation.
Eventually, my nervous system was dysregulated, libido MIA, hunger cravings through the roof, and sleep and digestion trashed from the excessive caffeine I took to suppress my appetite and fuel my workouts. I spent months self-medicating unprescribed benzos to fix my insomnia. And by the time some of my former flings slid back into my DMs, I was too burnt out to even care.
I’m not alone in this experience. George Mycock, a PhD researcher in this field at Worcester University, went to extreme lengths to try to optimise the perfect appearance. “I used to check myself in the mirror for hours a day,” he told me. “I would exercise multiple times a day, often to the point of throwing up or passing out. I’d binge eat to try and build muscle, and severely restrict myself to try and remove body fat.”
Mycock recovered, and decided to channel the pain he’d experienced to research the topic of muscle dysmorphia and eating issues in men. He notes that one of the prevailing feelings experienced by boys dealing with body image and eating disorder is when it all suddenly “flips from something you want into something you feel you need to do”. The most challenging part of recognising it is the fact that many such behaviours can be masked behind “discipline” and “health”, even praised by others. Clinically, the turning point is even harder to establish.
“We don’t know the line of when [it] turns into muscle dysmorphia,” says Kyle T. Ganson, an associate professor in social work at the University of Toronto. “To make things worse, many men facing it are not seeking treatment, and clinicians don’t often have the language to address it.”
Research reveals a glaring lacuna. Ganson published a US and Canada-based study this year that found 44.4 per cent of licensed therapists had no knowledge of muscle dysmorphia. Only 14 per cent had received formal training on eating disorders in men.
As social and even mainstream media broadcasts an ever-more perfect picture of the male physique — think of Marvel Superhero physiques today versus the less polished ones of a few decades ago — more and more boys feel dissatisfied with their bodies.
But help is possible. “Through therapy, I started to work on recognising things about myself that I could like, respect, and love, that were separate from my body,” Mycock continues. “Over time, this helped unravel my dependency on ‘needing’ to look a certain way for self worth, as I had other parts of me.”
Things, however, aren’t always neatly resolved. My story, alas, does not yet have a happy ending. This summer, my anxiety around eating relapsed abruptly, exacerbated by bereavement and the beach season of parading half-naked bodies.
It’s rather ironic that I’d land a plushy job as a food writer in the food capital of the world, Rome, only to develop a cripplingly inflexible relationship with eating. A food writer afraid of food.
At times, I worry I might never be able to enjoy a meal in peace. Writing about this is part of an attempt to kickstart some positive change.
My advice to parents echoes what Ganson recommends: “practicing respectful curiosity”. Don’t panic if you see your boys get into the gym, but don’t ignore it either. Watch their relationship with food and their appearance, ask questions, but don’t invalidate their aspirations or respond with judgement — that will just push them further.
Kerri Fleming, Beat’s head of services, says: “Muscle dysmorphia can be particularly difficult to recognise in boys and young men. This is because excessive exercise, restrictive eating and a preoccupation with building muscle can be mistaken for a every day fitness habits. Parents should approach conversations with compassion, focusing on how their child is feeling rather than their appearance. We suggest listening without judgement and trying to avoid comments about weight, shape or muscle size. Reassuring them that they’re not alone can help create a supportive environment.
“Parents shouldn’t wait until their child is visibly unwell before seeking support. A GP is a good first point of contact for assessment and appropriate referrals. Beat’s Helpline can also provide support and guidance.”
For men teetering on the edge of fitness obsession, ask yourself this: is this a defence mechanism, a form of self-medication? It may soothe things for a short while, but you can never lift your way out of your insecurities. Your dream body will never be your dream body if it becomes a living nightmare to maintain.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, please contact Beat’s helpline on 0808 801 0677, on webchat, via social media or through email. Helplines are open from 3pm– 8pm, Monday to Friday