What do you want to happen to your body when you die? Have you given it any thought or does the subject fill you with fear and disgust? If you’re not sure, perhaps you might find inspiration in the plan shared by writer and performer, James Rowland. After his cremation, he’d like his ashes to be separated “into little party bags” and shared with his loved ones “who can do whatever they want with them”. As far as post-mortem planning goes, it’s certainly original and gets a big laugh from the watching audience.
Rowland’s one-hour theatrical performance James Rowland Dies at the End is just one in a series of thought-provoking and entertaining offerings at The Sondering, a new microfestival in the Lake District that explores death, dying and grief in new and old ways.
Described as “part-festival, part-retreat and part-shared experiment”, the event, which takes place over a weekend in September, does this through music, workshops, conversation, nature, contemporary arts and death literacy expertise – and it’s undoubtedly one of the most inspirational and surprising weekends I’ll have this year.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
5 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.
Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.
Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships
The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.
Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.
Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.
What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.
Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
How to age well
without pain
Will Harlow, a physiotherapist
for the over-50s and author of Independence for Life, shares
the key signs you’re ageing
badly – and what to do about it.
How to know
Ageing well is maintaining the ability to do what you want you want for as long as you want without needing help. Everyone is talking about longevity but what’s the point in living longer if the last decade is painful and you’re [totally] reliant on people?”
The signs to look out for
- The most obvious early warning sign of bad ageing is pain says Harlow.
- Another is losing confidence in doing daily tasks, which can quickly lead to a lack of independence.
- One call Harlow often receives is people calling after having a fall and struggling to get up.
4 min read
How to age without pain
Not just stopping
When people retire, they often put their feet up and stop. Your body really is use it or lose it.
Throughout our entire lives, Harlow says we need between seven and nine hours of sleep.
Social isolation
The lack of connection can increase the risk of premature death by
as much as 29 per cent.
Strength training
It really is the proxy for
overall independence.
The more muscle mass you have, the less chance of heart disease, diabetes, falls and even anxiety, depression and dementia.
The brain can be linked to muscle mass too, Harlow says. It’s not just about being able to lift things. It gives you more energy, better sleep and you’ll look and feel better.
How to age without pain
Daily habits
Do short bursts of exercise, between 30 and 60 seconds, in otherwise dead time during the day.
Stretch in bed
Take joints through a full range of motion for five minutes to loosen it before getting up.
Don’t crash diet
How to age without pain
Harlow advises 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight to stop muscle loss alongside resistance training.
Don’t wait
Harlow finds that many patients put off making a change to their lifestyle until their lives are consumed by pain.
For most people, it’s about reducing the number of times per week you’re exercising, not reducing intensity.
The three ageing tests to do
- Lie completely flat on the floor and get back up to a standing position using any technique. This should take less than 10 seconds.
See how many times you can sit on the chair and stand back up again in 30 seconds. Men should be aiming for more than 14 times and women 12.
The single-leg stand, which involves standing on one leg and balancing for 10 seconds. Everyone should be able to do that and for those under 65, Harlow asks them to do it with their eyes closed.
Despite the job market hiring fewer entry-level roles, employers are still looking for grads…
But you should be prepared to keep an open mind.
We’ve compiled the sectors hiring graduate roles, what degree is required, and what they pay.
The degrees to choose for a career
Hiring in the UK could
finally be on the up
47%
of employers offered entry-level
positions from July.
That is up nearly 15 per cent from the same period last year.
700,000
But graduate unemployment rose to six per cent in 2025 and 700,000 jobless graduates were claiming benefits.
Finance and insurance
- Around 42 per cent of UK finance and insurance employers say they will be open to graduate roles this summer.
- Business loan company Portman Finance Group has taken on 50 graduates over the past four years.
Portman graduates start on £36,000 for the two-year programme and the education you need to apply is a minimum “ABB” of A-levels, and a 2:1 or above university degree. But not in a specific subject.
Trade and logistics
What makes it particularly rewarding is that there’s always something to learn.
Nearly half (47 per cent) of trade and logistics companies will be giving graduates a go this year.
Salaries start at £30,000 with an uncapped bonus, rising to £50,000 plus a company car as a senior account partner.
Technology and IT
More than half (52 per cent) of UK tech and IT firms are actively looking for graduates.
Successful entry-level candidates can earn a basic salary of up to £35,000, with the opportunity to triple that within their first three years of working.
4 min read
Public sector, health
and social services
46 per cent of public sector, health and social services organisations are also ready to take graduates, according to a survey by Manpower.
- For example, Police Now runs a graduate programme into policing. They recruit graduates from any degree field, as long as they achieve a 2:2 or above. Starting salaries range from £31,164 to £42,210 depending on location and rising each year.
Can we treat guests without blowing our budget?
According to Waitrose, a dinner party revival is underway led by younger people trying to reduce the cost of getting together.
Always have bread
People will feast on the
ELLA RISBRIDGER, AUTHOR OF THE KITCHEN BOOK – GOOD FOOD FOR EVERY DAY
bread, and then need less fish/steak/expensive whatever. All small plates restaurants know this: this is why the first thing on the menu is always artisan bread and butter.
Use vegetables as centrepieces
Add pantry items
Graham’s recipes include a braised cabbage with a preserved lemon sauce, a roast cauliflower with saffron, and harrisa roast carrots with mango labneh.
How to host on a budget
Improve the everyday
Guests will always appreciate a stellar interpretation of the ordinary. Think lasagna or curry.
Cooking dinner for your guests is spoiling them – you’re being generous with your time, your effort, and your home. So don’t feel the need to go overboard elsewhere.
Ask for help
Ask friends to bring a contribution, be it a nibble or a pudding.
Big platter energy
[Presentation] can be the key to elevating something . Spaghetti and tomato sauce suddenly looks like a feast when tumbled on a lovely big plate, dressed with olive oil and parmesan and placed in the middle of the table.
Food writer and editor Eleanor Steafel
How to host on a budget
Taco party
Have one expensive filling, like shredded chicken, and two cheaper options, like refried beans, says Ella Risbridger.
Shop-bought ice cream is so easily zhuzhed up with the help of handy toppings, says Eleanor Steafel.
“Weird”, “bleak” and “morbid” were just some of the responses I had to the news that I was heading to a death festival. But – like many of us – death has made a series of unwelcome appearances in my life. Some were expected, such as a grandparent who died of old age. One was sudden: a close friend who died at the unforgivably young age of 25, while a second friend died after a cancer diagnosis at 40.
The death of a parent is often a seismic moment in a person’s life and despite suffering from ill-health, the death of my mother just over a year ago was a deep and unexpected shock. And a bombshell cancer diagnosis at the age of 39 also left me in the unpleasant position of having to confront my mortality.
All these things are both unique to me and remarkably commonplace. Death is the grand unifier – the one thing every one of us has in common, and the thing none of us can escape. But despite this, it’s a subject that people are, understandably, reluctant to think about.
My journey with changing my perspective on death was also informed by reading several books on the subject, including by Cariad Lloyd. In it, Lloyd, a comedian and actress, talks about how Britain’s approach to death is still stuck in the Victorian era and how “fear and social awkwardness drive us to seek to contain grief, tidy it up, run away [from it] – as if tears were petrol and we’re all holding matches”. Instead, she implores us to “free ourselves from the stigma of behaving ‘inappropriately’”.
And she’s far from alone. There exists a growing ecosystem of people in fields as diverse as theatre to end-of-life care, funeral directors to musicians who are all working towards increased literacy when it comes to the end of life in an effort to make what is often a difficult time less scary.
In their commitment to this vision, sisters Cam and Soph Minden – the founders and brains behind The Sondering – invited a group of such people to the festival to share their expertise, engage and encourage others to think about what is still deemed a macabre subject by too many. Their question: “Can exploring mortality creatively, consciously and communally bring us closer to life – and each other?” is one for attendees to consider.
And there’s plenty on offer to help us get to grips with it, from the practical to matters spiritual. In the former, I find Evie King’s “Get Ahead of Being Dead” workshop (also the name of her essential book on the same subject) – eye-opening, informative and hilarious (she’s also a comedian). As a council worker with years of experience organising funerals, she encourages us all to plan what happens after we die, quipping that death is “90 per cent admin”.
From listing practical matters, such as bank details and subscriptions, to advanced care plans and deciding which songs we want at our funeral, creating a live document is “the biggest act of love and care you can do for your people – it will make their life easier”, she says. “It also stops people arguing,” she adds. I leave feeling weirdly inspired and ready to have this conversation with my loved ones.
Elsewhere, celebrant Lonán Jenkins invites us to consider what we could learn from Irish wake traditions. Such occasions, he says, are characterised by community togetherness, generosity, vigil, storytelling and toasting, plus a welcome dose of humour that is often absent from other cultural approaches to death. “Grieving is an inherent part of the Irish narrative,” states Jenkins, adding that a wake demands a real confrontation with death. Contemporary challenges, such as how to hold a wake without having a family home, or questioning how we grieve at work spark welcome discussions among the gathered crowd.
It’s appropriate that Jenkins’s session is followed by a performance from musician and sound facilitator Laurel Morgan whose drone and voice piece is inspired by the Celtic keening tradition. Common in Gaelic communities, keening is a loud and long wailing or crying sound often made by women to mourn someone’s death. Surrounded by candles, Morgan warns us that the performance “might go a bit feral”. I don’t find this to be the case, however, and there’s a reverential hush as her wordless lament that is part-sound art, part-vocal improvisation washes through the room.
With its cycles and sensory comforts, nature has long been a source of comfort for the bereaved, so it makes absolute sense that it forms an integral part of the festival, which takes place amid the dramatic fells of Cumbria. Wild swimming, “death yoga nidra” and fireside storytelling are all part of the itinerary, but it’s the Rydal Cave vocal ritual that speaks to me.
Led by a professor from the Royal College of Music, me and around 75 other people take a steady walk up and over fields past Rydal Water to arrive at Rydal Cave – a 19th-century cavern, about 30ft high, with a shallow lake. We’re guided by volunteers wielding fire torches across stepping stones and slowly gather in a circle in the darkness of the cave. Several facilitators make a series of sounds and simple refrains that we all repeat back. The echo of our collective voices reverberates throughout the space and bounces back to us in an otherworldly exercise that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. After about 25 minutes, we slowly emerge. Everyone seems more peaceful, which is no surprise; the benefits of communal singing are well documented, coupled with the effects of doing so in such a special place. It is something I wish I could do every weekend.
A deep feeling of connection with other people is the common thread that runs throughout my entire weekend. Keeping numbers low is intentional and there are no nasty surprises – all my fellow attendees know what the festival is about. And because it’s so small, it’s easy to keep bumping into the same faces. The surprisingly honest and open conversations I have with strangers and overhear are astonishing – it all feels a long way away from the “real world”. It stands to reason that anyone voluntarily choosing to go to a “death festival”, must have a reasonably open mind about life, a suspicion that seems to be reinforced with every new conversation and friend I make. And the delicate subject matter means that everyone seems to treat those around us with generosity and kindness; it feels positively utopian.
Saturday night is for “release” – a time to shake off all the big feelings of the day. I’m genuinely sad to miss out on Emöshpit – an opportunity to shout, scream, dance and sweat it out on the dancefloor, but it clashes with the Rydal Cave ritual. A busy itinerary means competing demands – it’s impossible to do everything and rushing from event to event feels antithetical to the entire experience. Thankfully, the dynamism, drums, brass and vocals courtesy of performers Ladies of Midnight Blue provide the prime opportunity to jump around, followed by DJ Madam West, whose bass and beats motivate us to move, fuelled by shots of sambuca.
The next morning, I awake in my tent to the sounds of sheep bleating, the wind in the trees and the trickle of the nearby River Rothay. Throughout the previous day, the team at Woven Farewell – an award-winning eco-coffin company specialising in willow-woven biodegradable coffins – have been making a coffin for a Coffin Route ritual that’s set to take place later that day.
This “pilgrimage” consists of a three-mile walk to St Oswald’s church in Grasmere followed by an ethereal musical performance ahead of the coffin’s return. Across the weekend, attendees are welcome to help Woven Farewell’s Abi weave the coffin or place offerings of loss or love – a note or a small natural item, such as a flower – into the coffin. It’s then decorated with flowers and buried in an emotional closing ceremony on the Sunday.
While there’s plenty of laughter and pleasure over the weekend, it’s natural that big emotions arise. As well as a trained welfare team to chat to, there are also plenty of places to take a moment, plus as much free tea as you can consume.
And the tears do come. The first time it happens, I’m triggered by listening to The Flaming Lips’ deeply emotive song “Do You Realise??” at the start of James Rowland’s show. It’s a song I have to switch off when it comes on the radio but here, there’s nowhere to hide. I try hard to fight it, but the tears start to run down my face. I feel exposed and embarrassed; is it too soon to cry? But by the end of the 60 minutes, I know I’m far from alone.
It happens again during a session held by the Incorrigible Crones the following day – three women who facilitate a death cafe. A death cafe is simply a gathering of people – usually strangers – who come together to take openly about death and dying. The conversation is a positive and lively one, with attendees discussing who exactly a funeral is for: do we insist upon our final wishes being followed to the letter or consider the emotional logistics such desires may impose on our loved ones? It’s far from a bleak chat, but I do feel my emotions rising up and step away for a private moment. It feels like a lot of emotions have been building without the space to release them, so I take the time to have a really good cry, followed by some big, deep breaths, before rejoining the group. No one’s weird about it because we’ve all been there.
And that’s what makes the weekend such a special one: everyone around is likely to have had some familiarity with death. It’s something none of us can escape, but I’ve found out the hard way that those with no direct experience of this (yet) often err on the side of avoidance or staying silent after someone dies. For this reason alone – our ability to care for those around us – it’s in all our interests to become better at talking and thinking about death.
“What will you do with your one wild and precious life?” This line from Mary Oliver’s famous poem “The Summer Day” has been memeified within an inch of its life, but it’s something I see written down at the festival that swims around my brain all weekend. I leave having made new connections, learned new things, thought differently about life and death, been challenged, laughed and cried.
Rather than dwelling on death, the last few days have provided me with a stark reminder that none of us are here forever and that squeezing the most out of life is not something we should postpone. This healthy reality check prompts me to consider where I’m currently at in life, what needs to change and how I might be able to make that happen. Life is finite – and at this special festival, surrounded by strangers, I’m confronted by a deep, deep desire to live.