For four years, Laura has been in a book club with other young mothers from her church. You might be picturing a docile scene of women drinking sweet tea – they live in the US south – and discussing a life-affirming family novel or chaste romance.

But you probably didn't account for werewolf smut.

"One mom wanted to be a dictator and pick every book," Laura, who requested a pseudonym so as not to cause another blow-up, told me. "She only reads spice [romance fiction with sexual content] … and there's different levels of comfortability. Some women clutch their pearls at [her] mere suggestions."

Every meeting started to devolve in the same way. The member would fight hard for her pick – always something spicy – and everyone would give in. But no one was reading the books, and finally, they decided to set some "content guidelines" going forward: no smut and no violence. This did not go well.

"She went to every single individual in the group and said she felt like we were kicking her out … but she still shows up every month, just doesn't read the book and doesn't participate," she said. "She sits in a corner and sulks."

Despite fears about AI's toll on critical-thinking skills and articles bemoaning the end of reading, we may be in the golden age of book clubs. According to Axios, book club events jumped by 33% on the Eventbrite platform in 2026, driven by the popularity of reading for millennials and gen Z, and a 2025 report from the digital reading platform Everand found that readers are meeting up more frequently in person, with in-person clubs rising 8% since 2024.

Book clubs are fun, fulfilling and interesting. But while they evoke a wholesome image, many members have seen a meeting gone bad or a group that went down in flames.

"People who don't read the book, people who don't prioritize putting [the meeting] on their calendars, people who are all into different sorts of books," she said. "So then, every book feels like homework … There's too many books in the world, and too little time in my life to waste on books that I don't actually want to read."

Once, she moderated a virtual book club during a Covid-19 lockdown. Everyone absolutely hated the book. Unfortunately, the author had been invited to their discussion.

"The person who had brought the author on was like: 'Oh my god, I wish we had read the book before[hand],'" said Auteri.

Book club attendees often fall into one of two groups. Auteri is the first kind: a dedicated reader who relishes in-depth discussions about prose and plot. The second type comes for the vibes; they enjoy hanging out but never read the book. These groups can clash if they end up at the same gathering.

"As much as I love a time to get together and drink wine and snack, I'm a book nerd, so I want to be talking about the book," she said. "When two people haven't read the book, it's like: 'What are we doing here?'"

But even if everyone is a serious reader, that doesn't mean it's smooth sailing. Barbara VanDenburgh, a former books editor for USA Today who runs the First Draft Book Club in Phoenix, said it is normally a docile gathering. But in August, that changed – as she chronicled in a Substack post called Why my book club almost broke into fisticuffs over Ann Patchett.

For the first 30 minutes, discussion of Patchett's latest novel, Whistler, was "perfectly lovely", VanDenburgh wrote. Then one attendee, Alex, advanced a theory about the book. (It's a spoiler, so I won't reveal it here.) "The room erupted. I mean, ," wrote VanDenburgh. "It was the most bonkers book club meeting I've ever moderated."

"We were yelling theories across the room," she said over the phone. "Somebody at one point was like: 'I will see you in the parking lot after this meeting, Alex, you and me.'" (They were joking.)

VanDenburgh has been running her club for more than a decade, and the Whistler incident aside, has a few ground rules for keeping the peace. In her club, she always chooses the book. This once caused minor discontent.

More than a decade ago, she selected Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh as December's book since it was set during the Christmas season. But Eileen, which tells the tale of a troubled young woman who becomes obsessed with an older co-worker at the prison where she works, is decidedly not an uplifting holiday season read. "People are mad to this day," VanDenburgh said. "At the very last meeting, in fact, people brought up Eileen, like: Don't you dare ever do that to us again."

Yet VanDenburgh still believes a book "dictatorship", where one person controls the selection and the flow of the conversation, may actually be the key to success.

"It doesn't have to be the same person every time, but I think whoever has ownership needs to be a benevolent dictator who's done the work," she said. "When book clubs don't work, in my experience, is when everybody sits around and hopes the conversation happens organically."

Erin Pepler, a writer from Toronto, also believes that to have a good book club, someone has to be in charge – because when that's not the case, she's seen various members take criticisms of their picks as insults. Like Auteri, she's joined and left countless book clubs over the years, and is tempted every so often to start one up again. Then, she remembers the drama.

"I know art is subjective, so I never truly care if people like what I like. But not everyone feels that way," she said. "People take criticism personally, as if you're speaking negatively about the people who chose or enjoyed the book rather than just having a conversation about art."

Jenn, who requested only her first name be used to avoid more drama, said that the book club she's in has had a "heated" discussion of politics. The group, based in New York, is a hodgepodge of acquaintances from various friend groups; Jenn was invited by a casual friend who knew she liked to read. But a meeting quickly turned tense when one of the founders accused the group of being too liberal.

"After that meeting, she sent a note to everyone 'dissolving' the book club," she told me. "We just continued on without her."

It may be impossible to eliminate interpersonal drama or disagreements. But most of the book club leaders I spoke to have etiquette guidelines. Bittina Sheen, who owns the Away With Words Bookshop in Poulsbo, Washington, and runs its book club, said a key to success is ensuring each club pick is relevant to the group.

"Our genres are contemporary fiction and historical fiction," she said. "It's quite a mixed group: women who are in their 60s, women who are in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Now that we have our established group of people who regularly come, I don't want to be like: 'Oh surprise, we're gonna read this spicy romance book.'"

Most people interviewed said it was OK not to read every book every time. But if you don't read the book, you can't stop the discussion in order to avoid "spoilers".

"Oh no, get out of here," said VanDenburgh. "If you don't want to have the ending revealed because you didn't finish the book, don't show up."

Olivia Alatorre's Florida-based fantasy book club, Wings & Flings, used to jokingly shame its members if they showed up with the book unread and took it a step further: those who fail the assignment must wear a dunce hat.

"Some book clubs can be so strict with their structures and dynamics, and this was kind of a play on that, as our book club is a lot more relaxed and inclusive," Alatorre said.

If you're worried about joining a local club and being forced to read a textbook-sized tome on second world war battles, it's never been a better time to join a specialized club like hers. Though theme-agnostic clubs still dominate, ones that center on a particular genre or focus on diversity in perspectives or characters are rapidly growing among 18- to 44-year-old readers, according to a 2024 survey by Penguin Random House. According to Axios, "hyper-niche" book meetups, with themes like "romantasy" and "weird girl", were mostly responsible for the increased popularity of these events.

Despite these dramatic tales, most book clubs are like Alatorre's – they want people to feel welcomed and excited about reading. If you want to start or join a book club, it's incredibly easy to do. Just gather some friends, pick a book and don't overthink it.

And if it goes down in flames, well, at least you'll have a good story.

"Think of it as a hangout with your friends, with a book at the center of it, and just see what happens," she said.