“He has ADHD.” The couple look at me solemnly through the camera, as though they’ve just revealed the missing piece of a complicated puzzle. And I know exactly what’s coming next.
I’m a couples coach. I help parents out of the cycle of arguments they all seem to be having: how much they’re each doing, how unappreciated they both feel, and why every attempt to fix it ends in a brutal row.
About half of the couples I see mention either an ADHD diagnosis or suspected ADHD. And very often, it’s offered as one of the explanations for why their relationship has fallen so badly out of balance.

How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA

The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?

Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.


Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?


The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.

Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.

A champion of EV efficiency

It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400

It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.


It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.

- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.

The kitchen gadgets under £25

Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.


Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.


Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.


Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.

Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.


Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships

The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.


Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.

Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.

What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.

Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.


Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier

These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam


Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier

Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.


Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier

Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.


On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
How to age well
without pain
Will Harlow, a physiotherapist
for the over-50s and author of Independence for Life, shares
the key signs you’re ageing
badly – and what to do about it.

How to know
Ageing well is maintaining the ability to do what you want you want for as long as you want without needing help. Everyone is talking about longevity but what’s the point in living longer if the last decade is painful and you’re [totally] reliant on people?”

The signs to look out for

- The most obvious early warning sign of bad ageing is pain says Harlow.
- Another is losing confidence in doing daily tasks, which can quickly lead to a lack of independence.
- One call Harlow often receives is people calling after having a fall and struggling to get up.
How to age without pain

Not just stopping
When people retire, they often put their feet up and stop. Your body really is use it or lose it.
Throughout our entire lives, Harlow says we need between seven and nine hours of sleep.


Social isolation
The lack of connection can increase the risk of premature death by
as much as 29 per cent.
Strength training
It really is the proxy for
overall independence.
The more muscle mass you have, the less chance of heart disease, diabetes, falls and even anxiety, depression and dementia.

The brain can be linked to muscle mass too, Harlow says. It’s not just about being able to lift things. It gives you more energy, better sleep and you’ll look and feel better.
How to age without pain
Daily habits
Do short bursts of exercise, between 30 and 60 seconds, in otherwise dead time during the day.


Stretch in bed
Take joints through a full range of motion for five minutes to loosen it before getting up.
Don’t crash diet

How to age without pain

Harlow advises 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight to stop muscle loss alongside resistance training.
Don’t wait
Harlow finds that many patients put off making a change to their lifestyle until their lives are consumed by pain.


For most people, it’s about reducing the number of times per week you’re exercising, not reducing intensity.
The three ageing tests to do
- Lie completely flat on the floor and get back up to a standing position using any technique. This should take less than 10 seconds.
See how many times you can sit on the chair and stand back up again in 30 seconds. Men should be aiming for more than 14 times and women 12.
The single-leg stand, which involves standing on one leg and balancing for 10 seconds. Everyone should be able to do that and for those under 65, Harlow asks them to do it with their eyes closed.
Despite the job market hiring fewer entry-level roles, employers are still looking for grads…
But you should be prepared to keep an open mind.
We’ve compiled the sectors hiring graduate roles, what degree is required, and what they pay.

The degrees to choose for a career
Hiring in the UK could
finally be on the up
47%
of employers offered entry-level
positions from July.
That is up nearly 15 per cent from the same period last year.
700,000
But graduate unemployment rose to six per cent in 2025 and 700,000 jobless graduates were claiming benefits.
Finance and insurance
- Around 42 per cent of UK finance and insurance employers say they will be open to graduate roles this summer.
- Business loan company Portman Finance Group has taken on 50 graduates over the past four years.

Portman graduates start on £36,000 for the two-year programme and the education you need to apply is a minimum “ABB” of A-levels, and a 2:1 or above university degree. But not in a specific subject.

Trade and logistics
What makes it particularly rewarding is that there’s always something to learn.
Nearly half (47 per cent) of trade and logistics companies will be giving graduates a go this year.
Salaries start at £30,000 with an uncapped bonus, rising to £50,000 plus a company car as a senior account partner.
Public sector, health
and social services
46 per cent of public sector, health and social services organisations are also ready to take graduates, according to a survey by Manpower.

- For example, Police Now runs a graduate programme into policing. They recruit graduates from any degree field, as long as they achieve a 2:2 or above. Starting salaries range from £31,164 to £42,210 depending on location and rising each year.
Can we treat guests without blowing our budget?
According to Waitrose, a dinner party revival is underway led by younger people trying to reduce the cost of getting together.

Always have bread
People will feast on the
ELLA RISBRIDGER, AUTHOR OF THE KITCHEN BOOK – GOOD FOOD FOR EVERY DAY
bread, and then need less fish/steak/expensive whatever. All small plates restaurants know this: this is why the first thing on the menu is always artisan bread and butter.

Use vegetables as centrepieces


Add pantry items
Graham’s recipes include a braised cabbage with a preserved lemon sauce, a roast cauliflower with saffron, and harrisa roast carrots with mango labneh.
How to host on a budget

Improve the everyday
Guests will always appreciate a stellar interpretation of the ordinary. Think lasagna or curry.
Cooking dinner for your guests is spoiling them – you’re being generous with your time, your effort, and your home. So don’t feel the need to go overboard elsewhere.


Ask for help
Ask friends to bring a contribution, be it a nibble or a pudding.
Big platter energy
[Presentation] can be the key to elevating something . Spaghetti and tomato sauce suddenly looks like a feast when tumbled on a lovely big plate, dressed with olive oil and parmesan and placed in the middle of the table.
Food writer and editor Eleanor Steafel

How to host on a budget
Taco party
Have one expensive filling, like shredded chicken, and two cheaper options, like refried beans, says Ella Risbridger.


Shop-bought ice cream is so easily zhuzhed up with the help of handy toppings, says Eleanor Steafel.
But the imbalance they describe is identical to the one I see across all heterosexual couples after they have children. Research consistently finds that mothers carry a disproportionate share of the mental load: the anticipating, planning, organising and monitoring that keeps family life running.
And every couple has a story that explains it.
Sometimes it’s personal. Mum is more organised, more controlling. Dad is laid-back and lives in the moment. Sometimes it’s professional. Mum’s job is more flexible than dad’s. And sometimes it’s medical. Dad has ADHD, so he doesn’t have the focus required to see the planning and organisation of the home through.
The sociologist Allison Daminger calls the first explanation “personal essentialism”. Couples who believe in equality don’t want to believe they’ve fallen into a gender pattern, so they tell themselves it’s about personality. But unless every mum and every dad happens to have the same personality type, that doesn’t really hold up.
As for the profession argument, a study of couples where one partner was a doctor and the other a lawyer found that whichever profession the woman had, hers was the more “flexible” job. Flexibility wasn’t about the career. It was about which parent was expected to put the family first.
So how much difference does ADHD actually make? I spoke to ADHD specialist Erica Djossa, author of Releasing the Mother Load, about parenting with ADHD.
ADHD affects the brain’s ability to regulate attention, motivation and executive functioning. Someone with ADHD might be able to focus intensely on something stimulating, but struggle enormously with a task that’s important, repetitive and unrewarding.
I feel that perfectly describes the mental-load tasks mums complain about being handed. They’re urgent, they’re important, and they are incredibly dull.
The executive functions that ADHD affects are precisely the ones family life runs on. Remembering the dentist appointment, the PE kit, the form due on Friday. Planning ahead and managing time. Prioritising a hundred unfinished jobs. Then there’s emotional regulation, amid the sheer noise of family life. So ADHD does make parenting genuinely harder. And yet, when different parents have it, it comes up very differently.
With the couples I coach, I often see this pattern: when dad has ADHD, I’m told it’s why he forgets things, drops balls and can’t take charge of the organisational side of family life. When mum has ADHD, it translates into: “I have ADHD, so these things are particularly overwhelming for me, and that’s one of the reasons I feel burnt out.”
It isn’t offered as a reason she shouldn’t be responsible for them. Instead, she’s expected to find a way, often at considerable cost to herself.
Djossa sees the same double standard with her clients. “If the roles were reversed in that exact same scenario, does mum get a pass for not following through because she has ADHD? No, she’s expected to figure it out.”
Mums, with ADHD or without, feel forced to find a way. They’re often more attuned to the discomfort of the children, they pay the price directly when things go wrong, and they’re the ones judged by society at large.
When I ask dads with ADHD how they manage it at work, some keep it a secret, worried about losing the contract or the promotion. Others rely on elaborate systems to remember meetings, hit deadlines and get things done. But they manage it, because the stakes are there for them.
If they can build systems for the office, the question is why those systems stop at the front door?
Hassan, 33, a father of two and founder of ADHD Dad Code, which supports dads with ADHD, has used the same excuse himself. “But if you can keep it together at work, ADHD isn’t the whole reason things fall apart at home,” he says.
Work gives the ADHD brain urgency. Home doesn’t, “so it keeps sliding to ‘later.’ It’s not about caring more or trying harder. It’s about building the structure at home that work already gives you”. His own systems are simple. “My memory can’t be trusted, so nothing stays in it.”
Everything goes into a shared calendar with alerts. And he brought one system straight from the office: a 10-minute check-in with his wife every Sunday to go over pickups, appointments, meals and who’s handling what.
“It’s basically a team meeting, just at the kitchen table,” he says. “At work, I’d never just ‘remember’ a deadline, so I stopped expecting myself to do that at home.”
Which brings up the question of compassion. Working around your ADHD all day at work, constantly compensating for the things your brain finds difficult, and potentially masking your neurodivergence, can be utterly exhausting. Surely home should be somewhere you don’t have to struggle in the same way?
So where is the line between empathy and enabling behaviour that dads without ADHD have been getting away with for generations?
Compassion doesn’t mean expecting someone with ADHD to stop having ADHD. There will still be forgotten appointments and unfinished jobs. What matters is what happens next. Do they take responsibility for finding a better system? Or does the diagnosis end the conversation?
Maybe the answer is doing the boring jobs together. Hassan and his wife do a 15-minute reset once the kids are in bed: “Music on, timer on, done.”
The solution for some might also be medication, professional support or rethinking who takes charge of what. Not all jobs need to be split equally. We all get to play to our strengths.
What it can’t mean is: “This is who I am, and I can’t deal with this. So I’m going to my room and leaving it all to you.”
Djossa, who has ADHD herself, says she has compassion for her partner if they drop the ball “the first time or two or three or four or a handful of times that happens”.
“If that continues to happen, then I start to lose compassion and empathy because now we are not putting anything different in place.” And that’s when the question becomes: what are you doing about it? What do you need?
I’m now saying to men with ADHD the same thing I say to men whose relationships have fallen out of balance because they’ve slipped into traditional gender roles: “This isn’t your fault. But it is your problem, and it’s your responsibility to do something about it if you want a happy relationship.”
And the thing is, we know it’s possible to manage these responsibilities, even with ADHD. Mums with ADHD are proof of that.







