Yes, I can do a lecture for your module! More marking? I can take that on. Your student needs someone after you leave? That’s fine, I’ll have them. You need a speaker at the open day on Saturday – I’m local, it’s easier for me. Struggling student? Give them to me to supervise.
Much of university life runs on goodwill, and for over 30 years as an academic I had it in abundance. I was conscientious, hard-working, and a “good egg”. I loved my job and was keen to be valued by staff and students alike. I also had a sense of duty and wanted to pull my weight. I hated the idea of ever dumping work on anyone else. I was even awarded the Missy Mop award by a colleague for mopping up the waifs and strays of the department.
But I also moaned along with everyone else. Common room chats were often about being “so busy”, “having no time to think”, and how academics were always picking up the work of those who left as university finances tightened. Yet offer me fewer lectures or students, I would have refused, as something about being overloaded suited me. We were all in it together, and I wanted to be part of the gang. I was a martyr to my job. Doing it, moaning about it, but not changing it. Then slowly, over time, I saw the light.
Zack Polanski launches bid to run for Starmer’s seat in by-election
Zack Polanski, leader of the Green Party, will stand to become an MP when a by-election is held in Sir Keir Starmer’s seat in the coming months.
Everything you need to know
- Polanski has confirmed he wants to be the Green Party candidate in the Holborn and St Pancras by-election caused by Starmer’s decision to leave frontline politics.
- The leader of the Greens insisted the seat was winnable, accusing Labour of standing up for “corporations and big money”. He added: “I will stand up for people struggling to pay their bills.”
- Polanski is currently a member of the London Assembly but is unusual as a national party leader in not being an MP.
Polanski gambles on by-election battle
The Green leader’s decision to stand in Holborn and St Pancras represents a gamble as he seeks to maintain his party’s momentum in challenging Labour on the left. The party’s in recent months and a victory for Polanski would represent a valuable political prize.
Until now, Sir Keir’s central London seat has been a Labour stronghold but the Greens came second in the area in local elections earlier this year.
Fans teased with new Harry Potter trailer – what we learnt
The sorting hat and Quidditch are among the familiar magical phenomena which appear in the first full trailer for the new television series due to air this Christmas.
The sorting hat returns
The eagerly anticipated HBO show based on JK Rowling’s first wizarding novel, , will consist of eight episodes and early glimpses suggest producers have been careful to retain the detail of the original book.
4 min read
What you need to know
Hogwarts is back
The trailer focuses on the magical school and Harry’s first experiences, including the trial of the sorting hat.
Friends again
Harry, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley are introduced in separate clips as the trio become friends.
Ron in a mess
Weasley is seen at home trying to read an acceptance letter covered in jam by his brothers.
Hogwarts’ teachers take centre stage
The trailer begins with Professor McGonagall, played by Janet McTeer, telling the newly arrived students they must undertake the dreaded sorting hat ceremony before enjoying a sumptuous banquet at the school of wizarding.
Severus Snape, played by Paapa Essiedu, finds time to sneer at Harry’s classroom shortcomings as he prepares to try Quidditch. But Rubeus Hagrid, performed by Nick Frost, takes the young wizard under his wing, telling him: “You’ll find your place.”
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What to know as toxic haze spreads across South East Asia
Indonesia is battling , some of which have been burning for weeks and resulted in a toxic haze affecting millions.
What you need to know
Multiple locations
The fires are burning on several of Indonesia’s biggest islands, in particular on Borneo.
Health risk
Millions have been exposed to toxic smoke, with 50,000 being treated in hospital for respiratory infections.
Regional problem
Air pollution caused by the fires is affecting Malaysia and The Philippines.
Indonesia’s decades-old problem with wildfires
The forest and peatland fires engulfing parts of Indonesia are a familiar problem for the authorities. Their roots lie in a project by former ruler Suharto to rip up rainforest and drain peat bogs for plantations and logging.
Repeated investigations have shown that developers use fire as a cut-price means of clearing large areas for plantations and industrial sites.
Haze shrouds parts of South East Asia
Protests erupt in Spain over Ceuta migrant crisis
Thousands have attended protests across Spain against the government’s handling of the arrival of thousands of migrants in the exclave of Ceuta on the Moroccan coast.
Everything you need to know
- The rallies on Wednesday were called by city councils controlled by opposition parties. They accuse Spain’s left-wing government of abandoning Ceuta’s residents.
- There have been near-daily protests in the North African city calling for remaining migrants to be returned or distributed across mainland Spain.
- Demonstrators have called for prime minister Pedro Sánchez to resign but the government accuses right-wing parties of exploiting the crisis.
Why did these protests happen?
Some 72,000 people crossed illegally from Morocco into Ceuta in July. While most have returned, as many as 5,000 remain. The Spanish government has blamed for the influx but critics claim the Moroccan authorities were complicit.
Did Morocco orchestrate the mass crossing?
A police report this week said Moroccan security forces had shown “total permissiveness” during the huge influx into the exclave on 30 and 31 July. Sánchez has insisted Morocco was not responsible but the report said the Moroccan police presence was “clearly smaller” than usual.
The police report nonetheless stopped short of directly accusing Morocco of being behind the mass influx.
The protests in pictures
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How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
5 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.
Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.
Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships
The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.
Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.
Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.
What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.
I was part-time for a good few years whilst bringing up my children and told myself I’d rather be seen as a hard-working part-timer than a skiving full-timer. Then one day, when I popped into work on my day off, I realised that no one else was in (this was before 2020, in the days when people didn’t work from home). Where were they all? And why was I the only one on a part-time salary? I was stupid not taking the money!
Next, we had a rare moment of transparency when we published the dreaded workload model showing how many hours we all spent doing what. It was shocking! People moaning (along with me) did just five lectures a year. In fact, some did none! I did about 28. Some supervised only three students. I had about 14. And some were in meltdown over marking 15 essays, when I had about 300. Needless to say, it wasn’t published again.
I was hard-working and conscientious. Or was I? It dawned on me that sadly, by being a martyr to my job, I was in fact just a mug.
And I suspect I have been a martyr in my personal life, too. We had children’s parties at home with games and chaos and party bags when we could have had soft play. I home-cooked most nights when sometimes a freezer dinner would have been fine. And we often had lodgers with us as if looking after my extended family wasn’t enough. And again, I did all this, moaned, and carried on.
I have also watched so many other modern martyrs moan and carry on without changing their lives. Colleagues moaning about work way past retirement age, but carrying on even though they didn’t have to. Mums moaning about their adult children treating the house like a hotel and yet not nudging them to move out. And wives moaning about their husbands, yet staying even though the ties of house, money and children are no longer as insurmountable as they once were.
So what’s in it for the modern martyr? Where does this behaviour come from and why is it a hard habit to break?
Some research focuses on the “Drama Triangle” – a psychological theory that says the martyr complex means rotating between the victim (moaning) and the rescuer (over-sacrificing for others without being asked). Then, when people don’t praise them enough for their sacrifice, they switch to the persecutor, using guilt trips to punish those around them.
Other research describes martyrdom as “virtuous victim signalling” as part of the dark triad associated with narcissism and Machiavellianism, which allows people to avoid responsibility and manipulate others into doing things for them. There is even a scale to measure it called the “Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood”.
But for me, as a psychologist, I suspect it’s simpler than that. I suspect we are martyrs due to the basic laws of reward. We overwork because we need validation and really want to be liked. We then moan because it feels nice – it’s cathartic, and a good vent can help us let off steam. We then get stuck in the cycle of overworking and moaning because neither quite fills us up enough with rewards we crave or the catharsis we need. Plus, feeling like a martyr is itself rewarding. It feels good at the time. I loved getting my Missy Mop award.
And, of course, overworking and moaning helps us connect with others. We work with others and then moan with others, and all this social activity helps us to feel part of something. (I remember my NCT class, which often verged on an anti-men class, and whilst we laid into our husbands it was very bonding.)
It all feeds into our sense of self and identity. There’s a pride attached to being a martyr, so when someone offers a solution, we reject it, as although it may stop us from overworking or moaning, it also stops the glory.
If this all sounds familiar, and you hear yourself endlessly moaning but not changing your own actions, ask yourself: “How is this actually benefiting me?” You’ll quickly see how it’s not.
I don’t really regret being a martyr back then. I don’t think I could have been anything else. It was who I was and how I wanted to be. In some ways, I think my work and personal worlds both needed a mug. But not anymore.