“Can you send me a list for the supermarket?” asks my husband as he heads off to the shops, not realising how much this comment makes my blood boil. I’ve already filled in our three children’s flu vaccine forms, booked a babysitter and asked a parent what their child would like for their birthday. Now I need to look in the fridge and cupboards to tell him what to buy.
The mental load has been unequal in our house for a long time, but it’s also something Matt and I have been trying to improve. We have three sons; one aged 10 and twins who are seven, so life is full-on. I’ve always been the type of person who would rather just get a job done myself than delegate and wait for someone else to do it, possibly not to my standard. But I know I need to be less controlling and ask for help when I feel overwhelmed. Matt is a fantastic husband and dad, but he doesn’t always see or predict what needs to be done.
Invisible labour, or the mental load, is defined by professor of sociology Leah Ruppanner as the “constant, unseen work of planning, worrying, and remembering”. Ruppanner, who works at the University of Melbourne, has recognised eight categories of invisible labour, including life organisation, emotional support, magic making, individual upkeep and relationship hygiene load. And in many heterosexual relationships, much of this will fall to the woman.
Astronomers discover first ever green star
The first-ever green star has been detected (and catchily named WD J1330+6435) by astronomers at Warwick University.
What type of star is it?
The star is a white dwarf – the collapsed core left behind when a burnt-out star reaches the end of its life and ejects its outer layers.
But their name can be misleading, with researchers at the university finding them in shades of yellow, pink, purple and now green.
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How scientists worked out its colour
White dwarfs are so dense and dim that they are not bright enough to be seen as a circle even with the use of a telescope, only appearing as a single point.
- This also means that our eyes can’t detect its colour
- To work out its shade, scientists had to analyse the chemical make-up of the light to identify the colour of the star if it’s close enough to see
- They found that in the atmosphere of the star, sodium was absorbing yellow, orange and red wavelengths of light, while calcium absorbed violet and blue
- A model of the human optical system concluded that because of this, the star would appear a “ghostly” shade of green
The recruitment scam warning catching out 47% of Gen Z
Nearly half of adults aged 18-24 have been sent a message offering a job they had not applied for, a survey by Virgin Media O2 has found.
What people should watch out for
The company warned that recruitment scams can appear convincing, with victims tricked into paying fees, sending money, clicking links or downloading software.
- O2 identified scams on its network that promised hundreds of pounds for an hour or so of work per day, whilst others just looked like a regular message from a recruitment agency.
Worries over finding work exacerbates the problem
Half of the 18- to 24-year-olds surveyed said they are concerned about missing a genuine opportunity if they ignore unexpected recruitment messages.
Of those, 35 per cent said they would be tempted to respond to an attractive offer, even if they thought it might not be genuine.
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How to check for a scam
“Before responding to an unexpected job message, check the opportunity directly with the company using contact details you’ve found yourself.”
Murray Mackenzie, director of fraud prevention at Virgin Media O2
Watch more from The i Paper
How one in six on disability benefits ‘do not face extra costs’
Around one in six working age people who receive disability benefit do not incur extra costs because of their conditions, a new report has found.
What PIP is meant to do
The personal independence payment (PIP) is a disability benefit designed to help cover extra living costs from long-term physical or mental health conditions.
However, the Resolution Foundation think-tank said its research suggested 16 per cent of those on PIP reported no additional costs due to their condition.
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A saving of £4.4bn
The think-tank said a redesigned system could remove 12 per cent of claimants by 2029-30 and switch payments for a further 4 per cent to improved non-financial support.
Combined, the report claimed the measures could save £4.4bn by targeting those whose conditions increase their outgoings.
- A change of this nature would affect younger PIP claimants particularly, with 21 per cent of those in the 16- 24 years caseload reporting no additional costs and little limitation from their disability.
Other suggestions for reform
The think-tank also suggested one-off payments could be more effective for people who reported a particular cost such as a mobility aid.
It also recommended that claimants should be asked more specifically about their extra costs and needs and be subject to more frequent but “lower stakes check-ins.”
How many people are on PIP?
Official data shows 4.09 million people were entitled to claim PIP as of 31 July, 2026.
- This is an increase of 7 per cent from last year
- The number of claimants has roughly doubled since comparable figures began in January 2019
- Up to £16.3bn was spent on PIP in 2019-20 when adjusted for inflation, which increased to £27.3bn in 2024-25 according to Department for Work and Pensions statistics
- It is currently predicted to rise to £41.5bn by 2030-31
The key benefit cuts that look likely after Burnham hints at shake-up
Two reviews due this autumn will shape what comes next for universal credit and personal independence payments.
Rayner ‘confident’ rough sleepers offered Christmas shelter
Housing Secretary Angela Rayner has said she was “very confident” that everyone sleeping rough would be offered accommodation this Christmas.
A “whole-systems approach”
Rayner said she hoped the push to end rough sleeping would become “as entrenched” as the national minimum wage.
She added that Andy Burnham asked her to speak about homelessness to the Cabinet, with the PM stressing the need for a “whole-systems approach” and intra-departmental collaboration to address the problem.
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The issue is ‘entrenched’
“I’m confident everyone will receive an offer this Christmas. But it can’t just be about a Christmas offer, and we know some of the reasons why people are rough sleeping are quite entrenched. We have to sustain it and we have to build on it… I’m not confident you won’t see any rough sleepers, I’m confident that everyone will have an offer”
Housing secretary angela rayner
Changing the system
Rayner spoke of the Government’s shift away from centrally-imposed “draconian” targets towards giving local areas more ownership of the drive to tackle the issue.
- She said local authorities had been given funding and were expected to make sure everyone sleeping rough received an offer of accommodation.
The one simple Budget change that would lead to thousands of new homes and towns
Behind the scenes, there has been a fair amount of wrangling over funding Labour’s new towns, set to provide a minimum of 10,000 homes each across England.
New world-leading NHS genomics lab to improve cancer care
A world-leading NHS laboratory has launched in the UK to advance personalised cancer testing and treatment.
Making use of AI
The Royal Marsden Centre for Cancer Genomics will work with to deliver a new generation of cancer diagnostics known as .
This involves information about a patient and their tumour being combined with artificial intelligence to give the fullest picture of their cancer.
It will help doctors ensure NHS patients can access clinical trials, more personalised treatments and flexible treatment plans that can change with their cancer.
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“Currently, workflows in the NHS very much focus on doing a single test for a patient with a single action that follows it. We think that, in the future, to really refine patient treatment to make sure that it’s truly personalised… we’ll be taking multiple measurements from patients during the course of treatment for cancer”
Professor Michael Hubank, scientific director of clinical genomics at the Royal Marsden
How will it work?
- AI will “integrate” the information to create a score which is very specific,” said Hubank.
- This score tells doctors where the patient sits on a spectrum of how to treat them and what therapies to give them in the first place.
- Hubank added: “Not only that, the continuous monitoring of those patients down the line will tell doctors how to tailor that treatment to each individual patient.”
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How the UK rejoining the EU could impact your money
With the prospect of rejoining the EU now a possibility, many questions have been asked about the possible impact on people’s finances. Our business columnist Hamish McRae aims to answer 10 such questions on what this seismic change could mean.
The impact of the euro
- 1Would we have to adopt the euro? We don’t know. The opt-outs we had previously have lapsed but we could renegotiate.
- 2Would the euro be better? Historically, the euro has been stronger, but it would only be a marginal advantage.
- 3Would inflation be higher or lower? Historically, the UK has a much worse record so you would expect slightly lower inflation.
- 4How would it affect interest rates? They are generally lower in Europe, but when this has led to inflation or a surge in borrowing, governments have been forced to take other measures to hold down prices.
Membership pros and cons
- 5Would the EU have control of tax and spending policies? No, but the European Central Bank could have a big influence on these.
- 6What about unemployment? Unemployment is generally higher in the EU; so, on balance, it would probably go up in the UK.
- 7Are there practical advantages of membership? There are some, like individuals and companies not having to change currencies, but it does come at a price.
- 8Is the euro popular with the European public? Yes, 83 per cent support it as per a survey carried out last year.
How popular would it be?
9. What about euro popularity here?
It is impossible to unpack that from the issue of rejoining the EU. If you look at where Britons emigrate to, the top three are Australia, the US and Canada, which all have their own currencies. In that sense, our links are with the Anglosphere, not Europe.
10. What will happen to the Eurozone?
The answer, inevitably, is that we don’t know. What we do know is that adopting the euro, if it were ever to happen, is a long, long way down the line.
Inside Burnham’s Brexit gamble: How under-30 migration is set to unlock a new deal
Andy Burnham is set to sign a landmark Brexit reset deal with the EU next month which he said could provide a £10bn-a-year boost to the British economy.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
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A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
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It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
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There are many reasons why women become the “default” parent. It could be because we’ve spent more time with our children at home after taking maternity leave. Or it could be a continuation of traditional gender roles within families and relationships which haven’t been acknowledged or altered.
For me, managing the mental load keeps me up at night, has me using my phone far more than I’d like in the evenings, and leads to a quarterly eruption of frustration and tears at how hard the juggle is. Matt and I have tried a few ways of balancing things out, such as giving each other autonomy over certain jobs or kids’ activities. We communicate a lot better than in the early days of parenting, and I’m becoming better at asking for help. But when we were offered the chance to work with a mental load coach, we jumped at it.
The recovering man-child who became a mental load coach for men
I was actually quite surprised at how eager Matt was when I suggested meeting mental load coach Zach Watson. I was worried he’d think it would be an hour of me listing all of the tasks I do, thus making him feel even worse. But he saw it as a chance for us to avoid tension.
Watson told us our situation was something he sees a lot with his clients and is something he experienced in his own marriage. He described himself as a “recovering man-child” and says his marriage nearly ended in 2018 because of mental load issues. This challenging time led to him eventually creating his coaching community for men who also need advice on how to take on their share of household responsibilities. Watson now coaches both couples and men individually on how to rebalance the load, and runs a seven-week Mental Load Mastery programme just for men.
When we started the one-hour online session, I could feel immediately that, while it was designed for both of us to talk about our emotions, the focus would be on Matt finding practical ways for us to divide our family logistics more fairly. It was a good way for me to practice letting Matt take the lead.
learned my husband feels left out when I plan everything
Watson first introduced his Fair Play CPE (Conception, Planning and Execution) method, which encourages each party to take ownership of tasks from start to finish, rather than both doing parts of them. For us, we decided to use the example of kids’ birthday parties, which have been taking over our weekends for years. All too often, birthday parties seem to be planned by mums who then set up WhatsApp groups containing only mums. Watson suggested that Matt should ask for the dad’s contact details when communicating about a party to promote a more equitable involvement. This seemed like a good idea – as long as the child’s dad also has a clue what’s going on! We decided it would be Matt’s task to reply to invitations, sort gifts, transport and all other elements involved.
One of the key suggestions from Watson is to hold a weekly BUILD meeting (Baseline routines, Understanding, Initiative-taking, Logistics, Operations, Direction and Decision-making). He asked us to choose a time to hold a meeting every week without fail. He said he and his wife like to bring snacks such as coffee and doughnuts to make it more fun. The point of the meeting is to have a non-negotiable time to discuss upcoming events, logistics and other issues before making plans and decisions. Watson told us Matt would lead the meetings, which made me feel slightly uneasy, before I remembered that the whole point is I need to delegate more.
The final exercise of our session was designed to bring awareness of how the mental load affects us both emotionally. We used the example of our oldest son’s birthday party, which I researched and planned from start to finish in August and felt quite resentful about.
Neither of us realised so many different feelings could be tied to one event. Matt felt upset that he was left out of the party planning, but was also happy and grateful to me that it had gone well. I felt sad that he hadn’t offered to help or taken the initiative to do it himself, but also guilty for taking over. Knowing how our actions affected the other, and ourselves, will hopefully mean we can work better as a team in future.
This was the main takeaway from our session. We’d forgotten how to be a team and to acknowledge that, while life is crazy and stressful at times, it’s always easier to share the load.
My husband now does food shopping, birthday present buying and appointments
There’s a lot which has changed in our household since our session four weeks ago. I can already feel a weight off my shoulders with Matt in charge of kids’ party admin. It might seem like a small thing but with three children, there are a lot of parties. I went away for a few days and came back to presents having been bought and wrapped, ready for that weekend. I hadn’t had to nudge him to do it. He asked the boys what they thought their friends would like and ordered everything.
We’ve had three BUILD meetings now and Matt has led each one, as suggested. As well as logistics of the week’s drop-offs, social events and appointments, the meeting also gives us a chance to chat about things further ahead in the calendar, such as Christmas or how many annual leave days we have left and house DIY which needs doing. Decisions don’t always have to be made on the spot, but I’ve found it so useful to share the other things which go around in my head last thing at night.
There are other practical things we’ve changed too, such as immediately adding Matt to party WhatsApp groups and discussing appointments before I just book them, and dividing up the children’s activities. Matt now puts school events into our shared calendar as soon as they get emailed to us. Food shopping for the weekend has also become his job on a Friday morning, and we sit down together to discuss what we want to cook. The mental load of planning and feeding a family of five is one thing I’ve always struggled with.
All of this new communication and proactive actions have eased the bickering when we’re tired in the evenings. I’m better asking for help and we’re making sure we show our appreciation for everything the other does. Life feels less stressful because we feel more organised. It’s not perfect, and I’m sure tensions will surface, but it’s a start. After 10 years of parenting, I just wish we’d done this sooner.