Mike Dean the drama queen. In this latest episode of attention-seeking exceptionalism the first Lord of Tranmere takes us behind the veil to those distant pre-VAR days when the men in black were up to all sorts. And guess what? We never knew. What a hero.
Untestable claims include not blowing his whistle in the opening 25 minutes of a match and spending as long as possible in the centre circle (15 minutes) in another. This, apparently, he did for his own amusement in collusion with his linesmen. Some boy, eh.
All of this was revealed on podcast, which offers its own clues about the weightlessness of the offering.
But heh, let’s not worry about the truth of things. This is all about Mike, our guy, endlessly in demand because he is so interesting and chock full of wacky tales.
Were he not such an unreliable, unserious witness, there might be cause for concern. As it is, this sort of blarney barely demands a hearing and should be locked, alongside him, in the tall tales cupboard never to be seen or heard of again.
The institution responsible for professional referees, Pro Ref, gave a cursory comment to the , which is more than it deserved. The august body pointed to a lack of details. Nil evidence. In other words, please go away, Mike.
Former referees Mike Halsey and Graham Scott wiped Dean’s account from the soles of their shoes on , dismissing the claims as nonsense, and as a self-fulfilling trip intended to reinforce his identity as the “class clown”.
Through a series of recollections of high-profile incidents during his career, rows with Arsene Wenger and Jurgen Klopp being uppermost and delivered via sundry media platforms, Dean has spent much of his post-ref experience cultivating the idea of himself as the central figure in any plot, the footballers being little more than booted accessories, there to authenticate his presence.
Dean spent 28 seasons in the middle plus one at Stockley Park on VAR duty. He even has an anecdote about that, the day four years ago he looked the other way over a hair-pulling incident involving Tottenham’s Cristian Romero on Marc Cucurella of Chelsea to protect his “mate”, Anthony Taylor, from further scrutiny during a torrid afternoon.
You can imagine how this stuff goes down with the present generation, most of whom would rather go about the job unnoticed. The majority understand the story is never about them. The scrutiny is intense and hostile enough without needy characters like Dean inflating his importance at their expense.
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That said, I’m all for referees having a voice. Indeed, officials and the game would gain so much were referees given greater freedom to speak after matches to account for their decisions. The introduction of ref cams and microphones offer welcome clarity over some decisions where VAR is involved, but more could be done to improve the connection between officials and fans.
The use of microphones in the refereeing of rugby is a brilliantly additive innovation which as well as bringing clarity to the decision-making process also builds trust on the pitch and in the stands.
Football is way behind on this stuff, which is not only frustrating but fuels the fantastic tales of try-hards like Dean.