A 47-year-old woman was controlled by her abusive partner through ‘violence and intimidation’ for two years before he eventually ended up behind bars.
Daisy — which is not her real name — was abused by Lee Yates, a man she met on a dating app in 2020.
Throughout the time the pair were dating, Yates subjected Daisy to a string of traumatising experiences, from monitoring what she wore to controlling how long she spent in the bathroom.
Following Yates’ arrest and subsequent prison sentence, Daisy, from Crawley, West Sussex, has bravely decided to speak out about her ordeal, in an attempt to raise awareness of domestic abuse.
‘This person has controlled your life for so long that you are stuck and you don’t know what to do,’ Daisy said.
‘He controlled everything in my life, from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. You are scared of them and the easiest thing to do is just to abide by their rules.’
Daisy recalled Yates being a nice and kind gentleman when they first met.
However, he quickly began ‘lovebombing’ her — a psychological manipulation tactic where someone overwhelms a person with excessive affection — sending her lots of messages, calling her at 3am, and saying ‘I love you’ early on.
While at first Daisy thought nothing of his behaviour, she said that things began to change six months in.
Yates started to give hints of darker behaviour, starting with him confiscating her contraceptive pill.
On November 25, 2024 launched This Is Not Right, a campaign to address the relentless epidemic of violence against women.
With the help of our partners at Women's Aid, This Is Not Right aims to shine a light on the sheer scale of this national emergency.
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He then started controlling her clothes, at first suggesting she wear something else, before escalating into ordering her to change.
Daisy said Yates would also time her doing mundane tasks, even going so far as to time her in the toilet.
If Daisy took longer than Yates wanted, he would get angry — sometimes barging into the bathroom if she took longer than three minutes.
She also claimed he would control her sleeping patterns, not allowing her to go to bed when she wanted or stay there longer than him.
Recalling when they first met, Daisy said: ‘He seemed nice. There were no alarm bells or anything. He kept asking me when we were meeting again but I just thought he was keen.
‘It was fine for the first four to six months and then it just started creeping up. He started getting angry if I wanted to stay in bed or go out with friends.’
Daisy said Yates began forcing her to make him meals, chauffeur him around, and give him all her money to spend on alcohol.
If she refused, Yates reportedly retaliated with physical abuse or threats to kill Daisy’s pet horses.
Later, Daisy claimed Yates would spit on her, urinate on her, and throw things at her.
‘The first time he urinated on me he said “I own you now”,’ Daisy said, adding: ‘He put the cold shower on my face and basically burnt my chest. Then he spat at me and started throwing things at me.
‘It was hell. I physically could not do anymore. You couldn’t say no to him, it wasn’t a word he knew.’
It was also alleged that he attacked her in the car. On one occasion, Daisy caught the attack on camera.
What to do if you're experiencing domestic abuse
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone. And whether you are currently coping with or have made the decision to leave, you do have options.
In an emergency situation, ring 999 and ask for the police. If you aren’t able to talk, try the Silent Solution: after dialling 999, listen to the questions from the operator and respond by coughing or tapping your device, if possible. If prompted, press 55 to let the operator know it’s an emergency – you’ll be put through to the police.
If you are thinking about leaving, domestic abuse charity Refuge suggests starting a record of abusive incidents, which might include saving pictures or messages, or making notes of times, dates and details of incidents.
The next step is to make copies of important documents such as court orders, marriage certificates, National Insurance Numbers and your driving licence.
In the meantime, identify the safer areas of your home so that you know where to go if your abuser becomes aggravated. Ideally, this should be a room with a phone and a door or window to the outside.
If you feel ready to leave, start by making a plan for a safe, reliable route out. If you feel safe to do so, pack an emergency bag so that you leave in a hurry if needed.
You can access a local refuge, either with or without children, for as long as you need to stay. The address is confidential. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) is open 24-hours a day and has all the details of refuges in your area.
Read more here.
Yates was arrested in June 2022 after a neighbour reported Daisy being shoved in a car park to the police. This led to her finally confessing to the abuse she had suffered.
‘I was going to end up dead, I am sure I was,’ she said. ‘The police knocked on the door saying that someone had called. Something in my head went “this is your way out”.’
However, Daisy still didn’t feel completely safe.
‘The moment he was arrested I was panicked. I thought he was going to be cross and come back and attack me.
‘When the police arrested him I still felt like I would get in trouble for doing things. Even now there is still stuff that triggers me.
‘I couldn’t go out on my own. I was always looking over my shoulder. It is a horrible feeling.
‘I will never be the same again, but I am not letting him win. There is life after trauma. I will never let a man treat me like that again.’
Yates was jailed at Lewes Crown Court in April 2026. He was found guilty of coercive and controlling behaviour and sentenced to three years in prison.
Speaking after Yates was sentenced, Hannah Lane, an investigator at Sussex Police, said: ‘Lee Yates sought to control almost every aspect of this victim’s life, using violence and intimidation to try and subdue her.
‘But he underestimated her strength. Thanks to her reporting his crimes to the police, he is now safely behind bars while she can look to rebuild her life.
‘Our message to any victims of coercive or controlling behaviour is that you are not alone and help is out there. Report it to the police, a friend, or any other source of support, and we will do all we can to protect you.’
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