My London: Comedian Asim Chaudhry
Home is…
Hounslow.
What was your first job?
Currys in Hanworth, I was 16.
Where would you recommend for a first date?
There’s a lovely French restaurant called Brasserie Zédel in Piccadilly Circus. You go two floors down and it’s this beautiful Art Deco room. It’s amazing and it won’t break the bank, it’s only about £22, and you can have some amazing food. There’s a bar right next to it as well, Bar Americain, and they do really good cocktails.
Where would you go to buy a present for a partner?
Honestly, I think Selfridges is a one-stop shop. I mean, they’ve got everything there. Capitalism!
Which shops do you rely on?
Selfridges, Sainsbury’s, Tesco — Tesco is everywhere, every pub is a Tesco now. And our local chicken shop bossman. That’s an outlet I rely on a lot.
What’s the best meal you’ve had?
Aladin’s in Hendon. They do a dish called haleem, which is a Pakistani delicacy. It’s like a stew slowly cooked with pieces of lamb, it’s incredible. I would recommend you have it in the winter time, though, because it’s quite a hearty meal.
What would you do if you were Mayor for the day?
You know what I would do? I’d bring back the bendy bus. I loved the bendy bus. I remember when I was going to university in east London, in Bow, that bendy bus, the number 25, was amazing. I think the reason it’s gone is probably because people used to just jump on it for free. So that’s probably not great. But I’d bring it back for a day and make it free, just so we can relive it.
Who is the most iconic Londoner?
Sir David Attenborough. I think he’s probably the most iconic Brit of all time, not even just Londoner. He’s an absolute legend.
Where do you go to have fun?
In London you can have fun anywhere. I’ll throw in a nostalgic one though. Back in the day we used to go to SegaWorld in the Trocadero and we had so much fun.
What’s the best thing a cabbie has ever said to you?
One time a London cabbie said to me: “I’m not the biggest fan of immigrants, but I love Chabuddy G.” I thought that was quite sweet, if not a bit worrying.
Where do you exercise?
To be honest, I just walk everywhere. Everywhere in London is my gym, and I’m still fat.
Have you ever had a run-in with a police officer?
Bloody hell, you know what, not for a long time, but back in the day we did. In Hounslow, riding in the car with all my boys, we got stopped quite a lot. We got searched. They wouldn’t find anything, you know, or maybe it was a mistaken identity kind of thing. I guess being a person of colour in London back then it came with the job. Is it a job being brown? If it is, it’s a bloody hard one sometimes!
Where do you let your hair down?
Um, I’m bald. So… triggered. I really love a good spa, and I know it’s a bit of a wanky answer, but there is an amazing ancient bathhouse called Aire. I’ve been there a couple of times, and it’s just a really beautiful, old school kind of Roman baths. Very cool.
So I would say a nice spa is great, just to escape the London madness.
Who do you call when you want to have fun?
I’ve got different groups for different needs. I’ve got my uni crew, I’ve got my school crew — my Hounslow boys — and I’ve also got my People Just Do Nothing boys. But sometimes when you hang out with your proper friends from school, it can get a bit messy. So I have another group of friends and I don’t know what their mum’s names are, do you know what I mean? That kind of level. So there’s no deepness. It’s all very, “Let’s just have fun and get drunk.” And sometimes that’s the crew
I go to when I want to just escape.
What’s your biggest extravagance?
My beautiful Japanese toilet at home, which warms my bum cheeks and gives me a full MOT down there. One of the best things I’ve ever bought in my life.
As told to Maddy Mussen