When our own children were young, we made the decisions. We decided what they ate, when they went to bed, how much television they watched, when they were old enough to walk to school alone and how firmly they should be told no.
Then those children grow up and have children of their own. Suddenly, some grandparents discover that decades of parenting experience don’t count for much. They may be loved, valued and wanted in their grandchildren’s lives, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re trusted to look after them.
Sometimes the disagreement is over something as trivial as having an ice cream. But the consequences of these disagreements can be devastating.
Tom, 67, was looking after his twin grandchildren when they became unwell. They had high temperatures and one developed a rash. He tried repeatedly to contact their mother but couldn’t reach her. He had a decision to make: wait, or get the children checked? Tom took them to hospital.
How the baby bust is devastating primary schools
With birth rates falling across the UK, London’s schools and parents are dealing with the consequences.
What is the baby bust?
Dropping birth rate
In England, declining birth rates have led to over 100 schools permanently closing in the last decade.
Fewer pupils
England’s state schools are largely funded according to the number of pupils they teach; when school rolls fall, so does their income.
Unchanged costs
But operational costs do not shrink at the same rate as pupil decline.
Expert opinion
In London, a pupil will attract £6,000 to £7,000, so each pupil you lose is costing you quite a lot
Jon Andrews, head of analysis at the Education Policy Institute, explained that costs will stay the same despite pupil numbers falling because “you’re still needing a teacher in front of that class – and potentially a teaching assistant, too”.
A growing problem
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Why children are being urged to get flu vaccine
Parents are being urged to ensure their children are vaccinated against flu this winter after a drop in vaccinations last year.
Here’s how to check if your child is eligible.
Why the push for flu jabs?
- In 2025/26, just 55.5 per cent of primary school children had a flu vaccine, according to new figures from the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA).
- This is around 2.5 million youngsters out of the 4.5 million who were eligible.
- The vaccine, given as a nasal spray, is estimated to have prevented 68 per cent of children from being admitted to hospital last year and kept 52 per cent from having to visit their GP.
How will vaccine rollout work?
Who is eligible?
Toddlers aged two to three, primary school-aged children, secondary school pupils and children aged at least six months with long-term health conditions.
Where can you get it?
At the GP for toddlers, while older children are offered it in school.
When will it start?
Expert opinion
Ensuring children are vaccinated against with a painless and easy nose spray, not only helps to protect them, but also helps stop them spreading it into the wider community.
Dr Suzanna McDonald, UKHSA’s flu programme lead, said ensuring appropriate protection will take a “concerted effort” from parents, school vaccination teams, and head teachers.
The Inbetweeners 3 – what we know as Netflix releases teaser
is making a comeback, with Netflix announcing production has begun on a third film.
Reunion incoming
Netflix announced that the cast of the popular E4 sitcom are due to reunite for another raunchy cinematic romp which is “now in production”, according to a new minute-long teaser trailer.
The cast last appeared on the big screen together in 2014’s The Inbetweeners 2, which saw them take a gap year across Australia.
What we know so far…
Continuing the story
It marks a continuation of the popular series, which aired from 2008 to 2010 followed by films in 2011 and 2014.
The gang’s all back
Actors Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison and Joe Thomas will reprise their roles as Will, Jay, Neil and Simon.
Creators to direct
creators Damon Beesley and Iain Morris will return to write and direct the film.
Ooh, friends again!
It’s been super-fun hanging out with our friends again, and we’re going to work hard every week to ensure there are no problemos making this new film for humans.
creators Damon Beesley and Iain Morris
‘I’ve struggled to find a goal since The Inbetweeners’
All James Buckley wanted growing up was to be in a well-loved sitcom. That dream gave him direction and purpose. When he was 20, earlier than he’d ever imagined, it came true. The problem is, when your dream comes true so quickly, it’s hard to come up with another.
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
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A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
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It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
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The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
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The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.
Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.
Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships
The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.
Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.
Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.
What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.
Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
It turned out not to be anything serious. But his decision to seek medical help without their mother’s permission, he says, became part of a family rupture. Three years later, Tom and his wife are still not seeing their grandchildren. He misses them desperately, but still struggles to understand what he was supposed to have done differently. “What was I supposed to do? Sit there looking at a child with a temperature and a rash and wait for somebody to answer the phone?”
Had he waited and one of the children turned out to be seriously ill, how could he have forgiven himself? And three years on, he believes the grandchildren are losing out too. A decision he made because he was frightened for their safety has cost them a relationship with two grandparents who loved being part of their lives.
Most clashes between parents and grandparents are nowhere near as dramatic. But underneath them is often the same complaint: our judgement was good enough to raise you, so why isn’t it good enough for your children?
Cathy, 68, has discovered that her idea of keeping a child safe is very different from her daughter’s. She and her partner have a small woodland where her 13-year-old grandson loves spending time. To Cathy, the wood is somewhere he can experience a little of the independence that children of her generation took for granted.
She lets him wander around on his own. She has taught him how to light a fire safely and how to use a knife properly. He knows the boundaries of the wood and where to find her if he needs her. Cathy sees that as teaching him competence. But her daughter was horrified when she discovered quite how much freedom her son was being given.
Why was a 13-year-old out of sight in a wood? Why was he being allowed near a fire? Why on Earth had somebody given him a knife? Cathy is unapologetic. “He’s 13, not three. If he can’t wander around a small wood on his own, when exactly is he going to be allowed to start trusting himself?”
She worries that in trying to remove risk from his childhood, she is removing opportunities to become independent too. Children don’t magically acquire judgement at 18, Cathy argues. They develop it by being allowed to do things, make decisions and occasionally get things wrong. She fears her grandson is learning that the world is dangerous and that an adult should always be nearby to keep him safe. Cathy wants him to learn something different: that he can cope.
The disagreements don’t stop once grandchildren are old enough to look after themselves.
At 15, Carter had become fascinated by YouTube. He made videos, followed successful creators and talked about becoming a content creator himself. His grandfather, Guy, 63, an engineer who had spent his working life in a secure professional career, was unimpressed. Stop wasting your time, he told him. Concentrate on your GCSEs. Get some decent qualifications and think about a proper career.
Carter’s parents were furious. They saw their son learning to film and edit, developing ideas, understanding an audience and becoming excited about creating something of his own. They wanted him encouraged, not told that his ambitions were ridiculous.
Guy doesn’t regret saying it. He loves his grandson, but thinks somebody needs to inject a dose of realism. The chances of earning a living as an influencer are tiny, and he worries Carter is growing up surrounded by adults so concerned with supporting his dreams that nobody is prepared to tell him some dreams are unlikely to pay the bills. Was it really so terrible to tell a 15-year-old that?
Guy has now been told to leave conversations about education and careers to Carter’s parents. Nobody doubts that Guy can keep his grandson physically safe. What they don’t trust is his influence. But Guy believes teenagers need adults who will challenge them, not just cheer them on. “I don’t think telling a child that everything they want to do is wonderful is preparing them for life.”
Then there are grandparents who get into trouble simply because they refuse to follow the rules.
Valerie, 70, regularly looked after her primary school-age granddaughter and loved their time together. But Valerie’s house operated differently. There might be ice cream before lunch. Television stayed on longer. Bedtime slipped at weekends. If her granddaughter wanted a biscuit, Valerie was inclined to give her one. “That’s what grandparents are for,” she would say. Her daughter didn’t agree. The occasional treat wasn’t the problem. It was Valerie’s repeated refusal to follow instructions.
If her daughter said no sweets before dinner, why did Valerie think she could overrule her? If bedtime was 8pm, why should Valerie decide nine was fine?
There were differences over discipline too. Valerie expected children to say “please” and “thank you”, sit properly at the table and sometimes do as they were told without everything becoming a negotiation. She thinks her daughter is too reluctant to say “no”. Her daughter thinks Valerie is unnecessarily strict.
Eventually, Valerie was told that if she couldn’t respect the way her granddaughter was being brought up, she couldn’t look after her unsupervised. Valerie is furious. She had successfully raised children of her own. How had she suddenly become incapable of looking after one for an afternoon?
And she worries about what her granddaughter is learning. “Sometimes children need to hear ‘no’. The rest of the world isn’t always going to negotiate with them until they’re happy.”
Parents have the right to decide how their children are brought up. But these grandparents don’t want to raise their grandchildren. They’ve already raised their children. What they want is the freedom to have relationships with their grandchildren that aren’t governed by a list of instructions.
And they believe the grandchildren are losing something too: the chance to take risks, hear uncomfortable opinions, discover that different homes have different rules and build relationships with adults who don’t behave exactly like mum and dad.
Perhaps protecting children from every outdated opinion, forbidden biscuit and unnecessary risk makes for more consistent parenting. But if the price is grandparents who are too frightened to be themselves, or aren’t trusted to be alone with their grandchildren at all, it may make childhood poorer.
Dr Denise Taylor is a chartered psychologist and author who writes about later life and exploring meaning beyond full-time work. Her latest book, ‘ThriveSpan: Walking Gently Into What Matters Now’ is out now.