Divorce coach Monta Holmes ended her marriage in 2019. After seven years of marriage, and one daughter together, she says she could no longer stay as it was affecting her relationship with her child. After years of work, things are better than ever. Here she talks to Lara Olszowska.
My daughter was three years old when she started speaking in full sentences, and there was one phrase she knew far too well: “Mummy, Daddy, don’t fight.”
On one particularly bad occasion, I’d returned home from work and barely crossed the threshold before her father and I got into a flaming row, and my toddler tried to intervene – to no avail. Instead, it turned into a screaming match between all three of us that escalated until I shouted at her: “Just GET OUT!”
Before I knew it, the damage was done. She wailed back at me, tears streaming down her cheeks, and I knew I’d gone too far. I decided there and then that I was going to get out of my marriage – not just for my own sake, but for my daughter’s too. I couldn’t put either of us through this anymore.

How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA

The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?

Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.


Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?


The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.

Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.

A champion of EV efficiency

It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400

It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.


It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.

- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.

The kitchen gadgets under £25

Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.


Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.


Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.


Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.

Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.


Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships

The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.


Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.

Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.

What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.

Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.


Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier

These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam


Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier

Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.


Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier

Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.


On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
How to age well
without pain
Will Harlow, a physiotherapist
for the over-50s and author of Independence for Life, shares
the key signs you’re ageing
badly – and what to do about it.

How to know
Ageing well is maintaining the ability to do what you want you want for as long as you want without needing help. Everyone is talking about longevity but what’s the point in living longer if the last decade is painful and you’re [totally] reliant on people?”

The signs to look out for

- The most obvious early warning sign of bad ageing is pain says Harlow.
- Another is losing confidence in doing daily tasks, which can quickly lead to a lack of independence.
- One call Harlow often receives is people calling after having a fall and struggling to get up.
How to age without pain

Not just stopping
When people retire, they often put their feet up and stop. Your body really is use it or lose it.
Throughout our entire lives, Harlow says we need between seven and nine hours of sleep.


Social isolation
The lack of connection can increase the risk of premature death by
as much as 29 per cent.
Strength training
It really is the proxy for
overall independence.
The more muscle mass you have, the less chance of heart disease, diabetes, falls and even anxiety, depression and dementia.

The brain can be linked to muscle mass too, Harlow says. It’s not just about being able to lift things. It gives you more energy, better sleep and you’ll look and feel better.
How to age without pain
Daily habits
Do short bursts of exercise, between 30 and 60 seconds, in otherwise dead time during the day.


Stretch in bed
Take joints through a full range of motion for five minutes to loosen it before getting up.
Don’t crash diet

How to age without pain

Harlow advises 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight to stop muscle loss alongside resistance training.
Don’t wait
Harlow finds that many patients put off making a change to their lifestyle until their lives are consumed by pain.


For most people, it’s about reducing the number of times per week you’re exercising, not reducing intensity.
The three ageing tests to do
- Lie completely flat on the floor and get back up to a standing position using any technique. This should take less than 10 seconds.
See how many times you can sit on the chair and stand back up again in 30 seconds. Men should be aiming for more than 14 times and women 12.
The single-leg stand, which involves standing on one leg and balancing for 10 seconds. Everyone should be able to do that and for those under 65, Harlow asks them to do it with their eyes closed.
Despite the job market hiring fewer entry-level roles, employers are still looking for grads…
But you should be prepared to keep an open mind.
We’ve compiled the sectors hiring graduate roles, what degree is required, and what they pay.

The degrees to choose for a career
Hiring in the UK could
finally be on the up
47%
of employers offered entry-level
positions from July.
That is up nearly 15 per cent from the same period last year.
700,000
But graduate unemployment rose to six per cent in 2025 and 700,000 jobless graduates were claiming benefits.
Finance and insurance
- Around 42 per cent of UK finance and insurance employers say they will be open to graduate roles this summer.
- Business loan company Portman Finance Group has taken on 50 graduates over the past four years.

Portman graduates start on £36,000 for the two-year programme and the education you need to apply is a minimum “ABB” of A-levels, and a 2:1 or above university degree. But not in a specific subject.

Trade and logistics
What makes it particularly rewarding is that there’s always something to learn.
Nearly half (47 per cent) of trade and logistics companies will be giving graduates a go this year.
Salaries start at £30,000 with an uncapped bonus, rising to £50,000 plus a company car as a senior account partner.
Public sector, health
and social services
46 per cent of public sector, health and social services organisations are also ready to take graduates, according to a survey by Manpower.

- For example, Police Now runs a graduate programme into policing. They recruit graduates from any degree field, as long as they achieve a 2:2 or above. Starting salaries range from £31,164 to £42,210 depending on location and rising each year.
Can we treat guests without blowing our budget?
According to Waitrose, a dinner party revival is underway led by younger people trying to reduce the cost of getting together.

Always have bread
People will feast on the
ELLA RISBRIDGER, AUTHOR OF THE KITCHEN BOOK – GOOD FOOD FOR EVERY DAY
bread, and then need less fish/steak/expensive whatever. All small plates restaurants know this: this is why the first thing on the menu is always artisan bread and butter.

Use vegetables as centrepieces


Add pantry items
Graham’s recipes include a braised cabbage with a preserved lemon sauce, a roast cauliflower with saffron, and harrisa roast carrots with mango labneh.
How to host on a budget

Improve the everyday
Guests will always appreciate a stellar interpretation of the ordinary. Think lasagna or curry.
Cooking dinner for your guests is spoiling them – you’re being generous with your time, your effort, and your home. So don’t feel the need to go overboard elsewhere.


Ask for help
Ask friends to bring a contribution, be it a nibble or a pudding.
Big platter energy
[Presentation] can be the key to elevating something . Spaghetti and tomato sauce suddenly looks like a feast when tumbled on a lovely big plate, dressed with olive oil and parmesan and placed in the middle of the table.
Food writer and editor Eleanor Steafel

How to host on a budget
Taco party
Have one expensive filling, like shredded chicken, and two cheaper options, like refried beans, says Ella Risbridger.


Shop-bought ice cream is so easily zhuzhed up with the help of handy toppings, says Eleanor Steafel.
It started like many love stories do. I met Ian* at work in my early twenties and the connection was instant. I had moved from Latvia to the UK to start a new life, while he was born and raised here.
Ian was outgoing and fun. He introduced me to all his friends, we went to nice restaurants and enjoyed trips away together. We were inseparable.
Everything moved so fast. Within four months of knowing each other, I had moved in with him. Within a year, we were married. The year after, in 2013, I gave birth to my daughter, Eliza*. That’s when everything changed.
From one day to the next I went from being in the office and having a social life, to looking after a newborn by myself all day. When my daughter cried, I knew I should feel a maternal urge to comfort her – instead I felt nothing. I worried something was wrong with me, and I wasn’t a good mother, but felt too ashamed to tell anyone.
Looking back now, I am convinced I had postnatal depression, but I didn’t understand it at the time, nor did my husband. At the end of my maternity leave, I was itching to get back to work and restore a sense of identity. But Ian said I should stay at home and care for Eliza, while he continued to be the breadwinner.
After working hard to establish my career in a new country, I didn’t want to sacrifice my success and independence. I convinced him to let me keep working and he agreed – on the condition that I would arrange childcare. So I got a full-time nanny to do school drop offs and pick ups.
Even though I was doing well at work, I didn’t feel any better in myself or my marriage, and things seemed only to spiral further out of control at home.
I remember one night, I was bathing Eliza before bed and my mind was racing. The feelings of being trapped with my husband were overwhelming. Eliza splashed me playfully, and I jolted at the shock. “I can’t do this anymore!” I shouted. Eliza was too young to understand my frustration was nothing to do with her. She went silent. I felt awful.
Work became my escape from everything. I would bury myself in projects and I would arrive home later and later, inadvertently neglecting my daughter by missing crucial bonding time after she finished her day at nursery.
On one of my hour-long commutes home, I pulled over into a petrol station and started bawling my eyes out. Instead of wanting to get home to my toddler, I sat paralysed in my car, dreading the idea of walking through the door and pretending I was fine, or having another fight with Ian – and Eliza getting caught in the crossfire.
I could feel my daughter slowly withdraw from me. If ever I asked how she was, the response would be “fine” and that was it. I noticed she would never choose to play with me. If she wanted to go outside and ride a bike or play at home, she would go to her dad. She associated fun with him.
It was only when I visited family in Latvia and stepped outside of my bubble, that I could see my marriage was broken beyond repair – and if I wasn’t careful, my relationship with my daughter was going to suffer the same fate.
When I got back to England, I sat down with Ian and asked for a divorce. But he wanted to work things through – and financially, I could not afford to leave him. I spent the following year living as frugally as possible and saving money so I could free myself.
On weeknights, I would pretend I was working late and go house hunting – missing time I should have been spending with Eliza. I found a property that was close to Eliza’s school, and not too far from my work. I spent every penny I had saved on the deposit and used the Help To Buy Scheme to afford the rest.
When Eliza was five, I told Ian I was moving out. In January 2019, I filed for divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, only because the No Fault Divorce was not an option until 2022. He did not protest.
My next focus was rebuilding myself and, more importantly, my relationship with Eliza. Counselling helped me to a certain extent, but what really changed my life was training to be a divorce coach. Instead of spending time with a therapist talking about my past, I was learning all the practical ways to cope with moving forward.
Now that I had my own space, Eliza and I were able to spend quality time together, rather than let a tense dynamic between her father and I spoil it. We went shopping for furniture together to decorate her room at my new place. She started opening up to me more about her friends and what she was up to at school.
It took a few years of healing, but we are the strongest we’ve ever been and I believe it’s thanks to me moving out, and thanks to my training, which helped me develop tools and techniques to diffuse situations and keep myself calm, rather than lash out at her.
Eliza is 13 now. The other day, I collected her from school, and a driver came up behind me out of nowhere, speeding, shouting at me through the window and beeping furiously. It would be enough to raise anyone’s blood pressure, but I sat there serenely.
My daughter turned to me and said, “Wow, Mum, that guy was being so rude I can’t believe you didn’t shout back.” A feeling of triumph washed over me because I realised how far I’d come. My days of screaming – whether at other drivers, at my husband, or even at my daughter – are long over and I’m never looking back.
*some names have been changed
Monta’s tips for parents navigating divorce
- Never make the child take sides. It’s not fair on a child to put them in the middle. They should be given the chance to treat their parents equally without coloured judgement.
- Strive for balance and routine. That means keeping the child on their regular schedule so they know what’s coming every day even when emotions are high. This makes them feel safe and more at ease.
- Don’t overcompensate. When we feel we are losing something huge, we try to make up for it by doing too much in other areas. There is no point in showering our children with gifts or sweet treats one week, if you’re sad and snappy the next. Your children need consistency while everything else is changing.







