When Faustine Petron was 16, her life was ‘derailed’ by her abusive first boyfriend.
She had plans to ace her A-levels and study politics at the University of Cambridge. But all this changed when she got into her first relationship at college.
After six months of the relationship, her abuser began subjecting her to ‘extreme violence and trauma’. He exhibited controlling behaviours, limited her socialising and called her derogatory names.
Faustine, now 26, said: ‘I had always been outspoken, deeply feminist and political. Over time, these traits withered away as the abuse broke me down.
‘Whenever I started talking about university, he would flip his lid and say there was no way I was going. I stopped talking about Cambridge after that.’
But at the time, Faustine did not recognise it was abuse as she had become ‘almost brainwashed’.
‘It was just second nature for me to film where I was to prove to him I was not somewhere I shouldn’t be,’ she said.
She added: ‘I was so young, I didn’t have the language to know what he was doing to me was abusive. If I had known, I would have left him six months in.’
MPs and campaign groups Make It Mandatory, founded by Faustine, and Killed Women are backing the Relationships and Sex Education (Further Education Sector) Bill to make relationship and sex education mandatory up until the age of 18.
It currently stops at 16, which is when teenagers ‘start putting theory into practice’.
On November 25, 2024 launched This Is Not Right, a campaign to address the relentless epidemic of violence against women.
With the help of our partners at Women's Aid, This Is Not Right aims to shine a light on the sheer scale of this national emergency.
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Harmful online content, such as violent pornography, is then filling the void that the stopping of lessons has left behind.
Alistair Strathern MP, who introduced the bill to parliament, told : ‘Compulsory Relationships and Sex Education ends at 16, just as young people face greater independence, more serious relationships and the highest rates of domestic abuse.
‘With online influences and emerging technologies exposing young people to new risks, we cannot leave them to learn these lessons the hard way.’
The bill aims to make sure lessons are built into timetables for all 16 to 18-year-olds, whether they are studying for A-levels or doing a practical course such as bricklaying or hairdressing.
Carole Gould, whose 17-year-old daughter Ellie was stabbed to death by her boyfriend, said the coercive control her abuser exhibited was so subtle that ‘we all failed to recognise the danger she was in’.
She is now backing the bill to ensure young people can recognise the signs.
She said: ‘As a mother you just want to protect your child. The coercive control my daughter experienced in her first relationship was so subtle we all failed to recognise the red flags and the danger she was in.’
Jess Phillips MP, who also backs the bill, told Metro: ‘Having spent years fighting violence against women and girls, I know that we cannot simply pick up the pieces after abuse has happened, we must do everything we can to prevent it from happening at all.
‘Our Violence Against Women and Girls Strategy commits to halving VAWG within a decade, but we cannot achieve that without education. It is unacceptable that compulsory Relationships and Sex Education ends at 16, when young people are most vulnerable.
‘This Bill is a vital step towards ensuring young people can recognise the warning signs of abuse before it’s too late.’
Faustine’s abuser was jailed after she went to the police in 2020. She is a PhD student at Warwick after graduating from King’s College, Cambridge.
‘Although I am doing a lot better, the impacts of the abuse are still there,’ she said.
‘I struggled socially at university. It was hard to feel safe and at ease. He served only a short sentence and, given the threats he made in the past, I knew I couldn’t have a “normal” university experience.’
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