Calling someone you’re close to at work your “work wife” or “work husband” may seem like a bit of fun. Still, psychotherapists say that these relationships with colleagues can sometimes veer into dangerous territory, and there are warning signs to look out for.
Mark Vahrmeyer, a UKCP registered psychotherapist says: “Calling somebody your ‘work wife’ or ‘work husband’ can legitimise a degree of intimacy, loyalty or emotional entitlement that we might otherwise recognise as needing clearer boundaries. If the relationship really is simply a close friendship with a colleague, we might reasonably ask why we need to borrow the language of marriage to describe it.”
Why do so many of us find ourselves drawn to close friendships with colleagues? Vahrmeyer says: “Psychologically, a close friendship with a work colleague can allow us to reconnect with parts of ourselves that have become neglected. Somebody may feel more spontaneous, desirable or alive around a particular colleague and conclude that the colleague is uniquely special, when what they may actually be encountering is a part of themselves that has become dormant within their established relationship or wider life.”
There is, of course, nothing inherently problematic about having a close, emotionally supportive relationship with somebody at work. We spend a significant part of our lives with colleagues, often in situations involving pressure, shared purpose and mutual reliance, so strong attachments naturally develop.
Stunning solar eclipse dazzles Europe – in pictures
From Aberdeen to Penzance, from Aberystwyth to Hull, skywatchers were out in force yesterday to see the best solar eclipse in a generation.
In pictures
The spectacle continues
A once-in-a-lifetime experience for many
The event sparked huge interest for people across the UK as the Moon covered more than 90 per cent of the Sun.
It was the first time for many, with the last full eclipse occurring in August 1999. However, eclipse enthusiasts will have to wait until 23 September 2090 for the next one.
A scramble for eclipse glasses
Looking directly at the eclipse with the naked eye, or even sunglasses, can cause permanent damage, so a scramble for eclipse glasses ensued around the country.
Huge queues formed at shops which still had stock left, while many had already sold out and were forced to turn away customers.
Temperatures to hit 38°C today as amber warning expanded
Sweltering temperatures of up to 38°C are set to hit the UK today.
The Met Office has today issued an updated amber extreme heat warning for areas across the UK lasting from 9:00 to 23:00.
The relentless heat means that this summer is likely to be the hottest on record.
A dangerous period of heat
The sweltering temperatures forecast today mark the peak of the UK’s latest heatwave.
Tropical nights, where temperatures fail to drop below 20°C, are also expected as humid air spreads into western areas, which can place additional stress on the body.
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An extraordinarily dry period
The lack of rain has piled pressure on farming, freight shipping and energy production, after the UK saw its driest July in 190 years.
Up to 27 million people find themselves under water-use restrictions and 1,017 wildfires have devastated vegetation across England and Wales so far this year, according to the National Fire Chiefs Council.
Temperature records likely to be beaten
More long-standing temperature records are likely to be broken over the coming days.
- Wednesday became the first day in August to reach 35°C or more, making it the 4th consecutive month to reach this temperature.
- If temperatures reach 36°C or higher, 2026 will become the first year to record four separate days at or above that threshold.
- If temperatures reach 38°C today, there is a chance that the record for the hottest August day, which currently stands at 38.5°C, could be broken.
- Provided August temperatures remain average or above for the month, this summer will replace 2025 as the warmest on record.
The heatwave in pictures
Firefighters call for water bomb aircraft to tackle wildfires
Firefighters have called for “wildfire-fighting aircraft” to help combat spate of blazes as Britain braces for another heatwave, with temperatures set to rise above 35°C, possibly reaching 38°C.
The ‘dangerous’ scam tricking users into authorising
Concerns have been raised by the consumer group Which? over a “dangerous” scam that tricks victims into authorising card payments.
Familiar tactics
Which? warned that scammers may use similar tactics to those used in authorised push payment (APP) scams – where people are manipulated into making a bank transfer.
However, in this scam, victims are instead convinced to approve card payments.
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Victims may face difficulty in getting their money back
Which? warned that victims may struggle to claim for payments they have authorised to a legitimate company, as the company has provided the intended services, even though it is part of a chain of fraud.
How to protect yourself from scams
- Never share sensitive information.
- If you receive an unexpected call, ring your bank immediately.
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Universities at risk of going bust before 2026 freshers finish their degrees
Some universities are at risk of going bust before 2026 freshers have finished their degrees, experts have warned.
Bankruptcies, mergers and course closures are expected to accelerate from 2030 because of a projected decline in the population of 18-year-olds.
Why are universities struggling?
An immigration crackdown on lucrative oversea students and limits on tuition fees for British students has taken a financial toll on universities.
- Analysts previously said at least 119 higher education providers, accounting for 43 per cent of the sector, are “struggling financially” because of budget deficits.
Looming mergers
Nick Hillman, director of the Higher Education Policy Institute (HEPI) think-tank, said that more mergers between institutions will “definitely” happen.
- Hillman said it is predicted that over the next five years, student numbers will drop despite a record number of 18-year-olds securing their first choice this year.
- The Russell Group of elite universities will likely snap these up and could mean that less prestigious universities lose over 25 per cent of their undergraduate student fee income, according to a report by HEPI.
Courses closing
Mergers and a decline in applications to specialist institutions could see a decline in the number of courses available.
This is already being seen, with around 27,000 courses available in clearing this year, compared to 30,000 reported in previous years, according to Ucas.
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Concern raised over vape fluid chemical – what we know
Pregnant women should be warned of a “potential harm” linked to a common chemical used to flavour vapes, scientists have said.
What you need to know
Vanillin study
Research has found that vanillin, a flavouring in e-cigarettes, could “compromise core processes of early human development”.
Pregnancy warning
Mothers-to-be should be alerted to the findings, said study lead Prof Prue Talbot from University of California Riverside.
Vape packaging
The researchers called on regulators to consider mandatory ingredient disclosure on vape packaging.
A closer look at the science
What the US study found
- The US scientists exposed embryonic stem cells to vanillin in a series of lab tests.
- They found that even low doses, known as nanomolar concentrations, led to the early-stage cells losing the ability to develop.
- “Our data predict that nanomolar concentrations of vanillin may reach the embryo in pregnant women who vape,” Prof Talbot said.
- Marian Knight, professor of maternal and child population health at the University of Oxford, said the study was “well designed”.
- However, she noted that the way in which cells were exposed to the vanillin is “very different from how the cells of a developing embryo might come in contact with vanillin”.
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Caught the eclipse bug? Here’s where to see it next year
If yesterday’s solar eclipse ignited your interest in astronomical phenomena, you’re in luck.
There are more eclipses to come in 2027 and 2028.
What you need to know
On 2 August 2027, a total solar eclipse will cross Southern Spain, North Africa and the Middle East, with the path of totality lasting up to six minutes and 23 seconds near Luxor, Egypt. In 2028, there will be a total solar eclipse on 22 July crossing Australia and New Zealand.
There will also be annular eclipses on 6 February 2027 and 26 January 2028.
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How often do these events occur?
These events occur somewhere on Earth around every one-to-two years and create a “ring of fire” when the Moon is in front of the Sun, but too far away to block it entirely.
The 2027 annular eclipse will be visible along a path crossing South America and Africa, while the 2028 annular eclipse will cross parts of South America, the Atlantic, Europe and Africa.
Where and how to see the 2027 total eclipse
- In Spain, the zone of totality will include the province of Cadiz, part of Malaga province, the southernmost areas of the Granada and Almeria provinces and the Strait of Gibraltar.
- In North Africa, the eclipse will last up to six minutes and 23 seconds in Luxor, Egypt. Also in the path of totality are parts of Algeria, Gibraltar, Morocco, Saudi Arabia and Tunisia.
How stair walking could slash early death risk
Avoiding escalators or lifts could cut your risk of an early death as well as staving off heart attacks, heart failure and stroke, according to a study.
What you need to know
Stair study
Choosing the stairs is an “overlooked” way to get daily exercise, found researchers from the University of East Anglia.
Less likely to die
Regular stair climbers were 24 per cent less likely to die from any cause compared with those who don’t use the stairs as often.
Heart health
The findings suggest stair climbing may be linked to a fall in heart attacks and stroke.
What scientists say
It’s a good option for people who don’t have much time or easy access to exercise. Even brief bursts of physical activity have beneficial health impacts.
Dr Sophie Paddock of UEA’s Norwich Medical School
Why campaigners are encouraged
Juliet Bouverie, chief executive of the Stroke Association, said a stroke was the fourth most common cause of death in the UK.
Bouverie said it was “encouraging that something as simple as taking the stairs could reduce the risk of early death and may also be linked to fewer cardiovascular health problems including strokes”.
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Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
Vahrmeyer says the difficulty begins when the relationship starts to serve a psychological function that is no longer simply friendly, particularly when emotional intimacy, loyalty and secrecy begin to shift away from the primary relationship and towards the colleague.
Here, three psychotherapists explain the signs that your work relationship with a colleague may have the potential to damage your primary relationship, and how to identify healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics with a colleague.
There’s a shift in emotional solace
Psychotherapist Shelly Dar says a healthy work friendship stays anchored in day-to-day workplace support and shared office humour. The dynamic turns damaging the moment a colleague replaces your partner as your main emotional sounding board. “If your first instinct is to text your work friend with big news, daily stress, or marital frustrations before you even talk to your partner, you are quietly redirecting core intimacy out of your marriage. Over time, your partner gets left with second-hand updates while the detail of your inner life is shared elsewhere,” says Dar.
You downplay your closeness with your spouse
The line where an office bond becomes toxic rarely starts with overt flirting, it starts with what you don’t say, according to Dar. “If you find yourself deleting text threads, softening details about how often you hang out, or downplaying one-on-one lunches to keep your spouse ‘comfortable,’ a boundary has already been broken. Secrecy is always the tell. If the connection was genuinely harmless, you wouldn’t feel the need to curate or hide it from the person you live with,” says Dar.
You find yourself jealous if someone else has their attention
Vahrmeyer says jealousy can also reveal how deeply your feelings run: “If you feel disproportionately disappointed when the colleague is unavailable, irritated when they talk about their partner, or unsettled by their closeness to somebody else, then you may already be more emotionally invested than you have acknowledged.”
You fall into a comparison trap
Workplace relationships exist in a bubble. You only see your colleague dressed up, focused, and completely free from household chores, bills, or family stress. As Dar says: “It gets very easy to compare that polished, easy-going office persona against a tired partner who is managing the grind of daily life with you. Resentment builds when you expect a long-term marriage to feel as effortless as a work relationship that carries zero real-world responsibility.”
It’s draining your emotional energy
We only have so much patience, empathy, and humour to give in a single day. Dar says: “When you spend all your peak social energy on a workplace dynamic, you end up coming home on empty. Your partner gets what’s left over. That dynamic shows up clearly at home, partners pick up on the quiet distance, withdrawal, and lack of presence. If a work friendship consistently drains you to the point where you have nothing left for your spouse, it is actively undermining your marriage.”
You’d be uncomfortable if the roles were reversed
You may think your work relationship is all above board, but how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?
Integrative psychotherapist Jane Chapman says: “Ask yourself, would I be comfortable if my partner were doing exactly this with someone at work? If the answer produces discomfort or jealousy, that is worth paying attention to. It usually leads straight to the question of boundaries, have you and your partner ever actually talked about where the lines are? Is something missing at home? And could this be the wake-up call that helps you rebuild closeness and intimacy with your spouse, rather than a reason to feel guilty.”
How to identify a healthy vs an unhealthy work relationship dynamic
How can you tell when you’ve crossed a line with a work colleague, even if you haven’t been intimate with them?
Chapman says: “A healthy work spouse relationship has clear boundaries and no secrecy, your partner knows this person exists, knows roughly what your relationship looks like, and there’s nothing you’d feel uncomfortable with them overhearing.
“An unhealthy one runs on secrecy rather than boundaries, messages you’d delete, plans you wouldn’t mention, a version of yourself you only bring out for this one person.”
Guilt is often the tell. If you feel a flicker of guilt about a conversation or a moment, that’s your own intuition telling you where the line actually is, even before you’ve consciously drawn it.