Et tu, Bruno? Keeping the headphones in and his phone switched off might not be enough to save Michael Carrick now.

If Lisandro Martinez drew the blade after last week’s supine retreat in Madrid, pointing it upstairs, his captain went straight for the jugular, plunging it into Carrick after another lame defeat in Como.

“That’s on the manager and staff to see, not me. Sometimes you have to be more brave under pressure, take the risk of pressing high and making them uncomfortable,” Fernandes said.

“As you saw with them, the centre-back was coming to mark me in my own half. We need to do that as a team but we were unable to. A team that plays through the middle with small connections, if you give them too much time and space, then they can hurt you out wide.”

That is not a minor quibble about positioning, arguing the toss about strategy, that is the Manchester United talisman and captain, last season’s Premier League Player of the Year, questioning your credentials. There is no way back from that.

The argument for ending Carrick’s reign was initially about competence. Now it’s for his own good.

Manchester United shakes you down, strips you bare, leaving you without the capacity to think straight or act rationally.

The performance in Como was so bad it rendered criticism unnecessary. What more is there to say that has not already been said? If the players were looking to the touchline for answers, some guidance or direction, they were met by a tall bloke, stroking his chin.

It was a strong look when United were ripping it up in the temporary period of Carrick’s reign. Here, he was a coach without a semblance of purpose or pattern. It felt like we were watching an ensemble from the Eccles Sunday League masquerading as Manchester United. Out-run, out-thought, out-fought.

Some might bristle at the gall of Fernandes, who has morphed into a kind of Bruno imposter, his alarming decline its own bellwether for this desperate season. If Carrick got one thing right last night it was hooking Fernandes just past the hour.

United were already three down by then, the skipper unrecognisable from the figure who dragged them into third last term, the flicks aimless, passing erratic, engagement wholly negative.

The fear must be that this spiral is not done yet. Have you heard the one about next season’s Manchester derby taking place in the Championship? Gallows humour is all there is left.

The first half was particularly damning. Bryan Mbeumo was isolated, emphasising absence of connection in the team. United were not only poor in duels, they surrendered possession too easily.

Como were organised and urgent, or, put another way, well coached and fit, qualities with which United are unfamiliar. The ball was a bar of soap for the first 20 minutes for United, bouncing off shins and ankles. At throw-ins the team shaped like the under-12s.

The mighty Nico Paz killed United not only with skill but his capacity to run harder and faster. The introduction of Carlos Baleba gave United a degree of shape and control after the break but even he coughed possession for the third.

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Carrick was clearly angry and took responsibility. Was he saying sorry or waving goodbye when he walked over to what remained of the travelling cohort behind a goal? “I have to apologise to the supporters. I care about this football club as much as anyone, if not more, with the position that I’m in and what I value this football club. For us to play in that way is not acceptable.”

Correct. This is Carrick’s team, the one he prepares and picks. He is responsible for method and tactics, if indeed they are applicable terms. The candidates to replace him filled the ether as he spoke. Eddie Howe, Julian Nagelsmann, Fabian Hürzeler and even that old Italian crooner Antonio Conte gets a mention.

The arguments continue about the failings of ownership and the leadership of the executive class. Carrick cannot escape what’s coming, however. He is not the root cause. But he is a part of the problem, lacking both the experience and charisma to ringfence the players and protect them from the idiots above.