Forget date nights and whether you remembered your anniversary. The real state of a relationship is usually revealed in rather less glamorous moments: who notices you’ve run out of loo roll, what happens when you’re both tired, how you behave when one of you is in a mood, and whether “it’s fine” actually means nothing of the sort.
Most couples develop a relationship style without ever consciously choosing it. Some become brilliantly efficient. Some avoid conflict so successfully that they also avoid talking about anything difficult. Others give each other so much space that they forget to come back together.
There are no perfect scores here. Pick the answer that describes what you actually do, not the person you become when completing relationship quizzes…
How to be more grateful for daily life in five easy steps
The world feels like a difficult place at the moment, and it can feel very hard sometimes to find things to be thankful for; when we are overwhelmed, we have less capacity to notice and reflect on the good things. Yet, ironically, proactively cultivating gratitude is one of the things that can actually help us feel less stressed.
NHS GP dR RADHA
The science
Research has shown that feeling or expressing thanks can actually alter our brain.
- The balance of neurotransmitters change; more serotonin and dopamine (feel good chemicals) are produced.
- This can be long lasting if we make gratitude a regular habit.
- We also get a decrease in our cortisol (stress hormone) levels which helps lower anxiety.
- Being grateful can strengthen the nerve pathways which triggers positive emotion.
How can we build gratitude?
Change your words
Instead of seeing something as a problem, try to see the opportunities within it.
Our brains are very receptive and what we read or write can alter our emotional system.
Express it
This will not only make you feel good, but you will also get a positive response from others.
How can we build gratitude?
Notice more
Throughout your day, try to notice all the things that are going well; has someone opened a door for you, or smiled?
The basics
By being thankful for the small things every day, we are far more likely to be and stay healthy so that we can enjoy them.
What to do
Gratitude can lead to feelings of optimism, lower our blood pressure, and improve sleep quality.
- Write down what potential good aspects there are to the things you don’t feel like doing, or even what could be worse about it.
- Spend a few minutes writing down three things that you are looking forward to that day, or the good things that have happened to you that day.
- Say thank you to yourself for the things you have achieved, or managed to get through and changed that day.
Sales of battery
electric vehicles hit a record high last year.
Starts at £22,995 for the smaller battery
Available with either a 40kWh battery or a larger 52kWh pack, that offers almost 255 miles, the latest, retro-inspired Renault 5 is both a joy to behold and a hoot to drive.
The interior has been lavished with a level of detail that’s typically reserved for more expensive cars.
4 min read
A champion of EV efficiency
It offers a remarkable 491 mile range on a single charge from the 85kWh battery.
It is a technological masterclass inside with the ability to option screens that span the entire width of the dashboard, including an optional display for the front passenger.
Priced from £37,400
2 min read
It’s a lot of money to part with, but this is arguably all the car you will ever need.
The £89,000 Macan is a premium SUV that somehow manages to blend Porsche’s reputation for dynamics and sporty driving with everyday practicality.
The 95kWh batteries can go from 10 to 80 per cent in as little as 21 minutes from the fastest public charging outlets.
With the business class-style six seat configuration costing a staggering £76,995, it is by far the most expensive Kia ever made, but it backs up its financial demands with a suite of genuinely useful and impressive onboard technology.
It’s fast, goes a long way between stops and charges relatively quickly but the interior is bland, the onboard technology is infuriating and the experience is devoid of emotion.
All of its gadgetry can’t disguise the fact that performance is weak, even for a typically zippy EV, the ride is fussy at slower speeds and it’s not in the least bit enjoyable to drive on a country road.
- While good value (prices start at £17,935) for the 200-mile max range, there are more interesting options from Hyundai, Citroen and Renault for similar money.
- It attempts to wow with tech, much of which hinders, rather than helps.
- There’s no tangible benefit over mounting your phone to the dash.
- Simply an average driving experience, adequate range and slow charging speeds.
2 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Victorinox paring knife
It’s comfortable to hold, with a point sharp enough for scoring pastry.
ProCook cast iron pan
For unbeatable searing and heat-retention, cast iron is the top choice.
Tesco chopping board
Priced at just £22, I’ve yet to find another board that matches it for sheer value and quality.
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Pyrex jug
It is the perfect vessel for blending smooth sauces, melting butter, or warming stock. It won’t stain like plastic and the red measurements never fade.
Salter scales
“I’ve had my slim little set of Salter Disc Scales for over a decade, and I’m delighted to see they are still made to exactly the same reliable design today.”
Microplane grater
It uses photo-etched stainless steel teeth that stay razor-sharp for a decade, something the lookalike copycats simply can’t match.
Braun hand-held blender
It’s an essential for everything from making velvety soup to getting the lumps out of white sauce.
Bodum cafetiere
As well as delivering great results, cafetieres are easy to clean and there’s no ongoing filter paper costs or pod recycling to deal with.
5 min read
The kitchen gadgets under £25
Oxo peeler
What truly sets it apart is the chunky, rubberised handle that absorbs pressure and stays completely non-slip, even if your hands are wet. It is inexpensive and incredibly durable.
Falcon pie dish
Made by fusing porcelain onto heavy-gauge steel for smooth durability, it is dishwasher, freezer, hob, air-fryer and oven-safe.
The golden rules for a happy, secure relationship
Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, author of bestselling book , explains why we behave the way we do in love.
Golden rules for happy relationships
Start with your own behaviours
The foundation of a secure, connected life is being what I call CARRP: that means being consistent, available, responsive, reliable and predictable. All of these qualities can be enacted in small gestures every day.
Express your needs
People need consistency and connection to feel safe. This is not, ‘You hurt my feelings by never replying to me’, it’s more ‘this is the kind of contact that helps me feel secure’.
Golden rules for happy relationships
The appendix ‘inflammation’ rule
If a relationship repeatedly inflames your nervous system, you need to disengage and deprioritise it.
Lean on community
You don’t need hundreds of friends. You need people and places that regularly remind you that you belong.
Stop blaming childhood
Humans are much more complicated than: ‘this happened to you, therefore you are doomed to be anxious’.
Reach for a
secure script
When something unsettles you in a relationship, your first reaction is not always the most accurate one.
If you’re anxious, your brain may jump very quickly to: ‘this is the beginning of the end’. If you’re avoidant, your brain may say: ‘this person wants too much from me, I need to get away’. So one very practical thing you can always do is pause and ask: ‘What would a secure person do here?’
Loneliness elsewhere
When people talk about loneliness, they often assume it means you don’t have enough people in your life. But you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely if those relationships leave you feeling excluded, ignored or disconnected.
What to do
- Build a community that works for your temperament and gives you regular, reliable moments of connection.
- You can still be kind to people while not treating them as someone who belongs in your inner circle.
- Explain what you need. Sometimes people simply don’t realise how you are experiencing them.
- Check in with people: does this person actually feel that I’m reliable? Do they experience me as predictable? That’s the only way that you can start to become more secure.
Do some foods leave
you feeling hungry rather than satiated? Experts say there are…
Foods that leave you hungrier
A bowl of cereal and glass of orange juice
More refined cereals are digested quickly, and fruit juice, whilst one of your five-a-day, contains less fibre than whole fruit. This might mean you find yourself hungry again within 1-2 hours of eating this breakfast.
Swap the orange juice for a whole orange, the cereal for oats and milk or serve it with Greek yoghurt or a boiled egg. This would increase the fibre and protein content; two nutrients strongly linked with fullness.
Foods that leave you hungrier
These pastries are made primarily from refined flour and butter, and are relatively low in protein and fibre.
Toast and jam
Shop-bought packs can contain a lot of white rice, which is digested quickly, and the protein content is often modest.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Vegetable soup
On its own, it is often very low in protein and calories, so hunger can return quickly.
Unless it’s loaded with veggies, it’s probably pretty low in fibre.
Liquids are generally less filling as they require little chewing which may not trigger satiety signals.
Foods that leave you hungrier
Snack bars
They are ideal for a quick pick-me-up, but if reducing hunger is what you’re after, it’d be better to swap it out.
Low-fat yoghurt
A full-fat plain Greek yoghurt with berries and seeds tends to be much more filling due to the protein, fat and fibre.
On an empty stomach, it can actually increase your appetite.
What to eat instead
Instead of thinking about avoiding foods, think about what you can add to them.
- Add beans, lentils or shredded chicken to your vegetable soup and pasta.
- Thicken your smoothies with Greek yoghurt, chia seeds and oats.
- Apple slices with peanut butter, yogurt with berries and hummus with oat biscuits are better snack options than a pre-made snack bar.
- Have alcohol alongside a balanced meal containing protein and fibre.
How to age well
without pain
Will Harlow, a physiotherapist
for the over-50s and author of Independence for Life, shares
the key signs you’re ageing
badly – and what to do about it.
How to know
Ageing well is maintaining the ability to do what you want you want for as long as you want without needing help. Everyone is talking about longevity but what’s the point in living longer if the last decade is painful and you’re [totally] reliant on people?”
The signs to look out for
- The most obvious early warning sign of bad ageing is pain says Harlow.
- Another is losing confidence in doing daily tasks, which can quickly lead to a lack of independence.
- One call Harlow often receives is people calling after having a fall and struggling to get up.
4 min read
How to age without pain
Not just stopping
When people retire, they often put their feet up and stop. Your body really is use it or lose it.
Throughout our entire lives, Harlow says we need between seven and nine hours of sleep.
Social isolation
The lack of connection can increase the risk of premature death by
as much as 29 per cent.
Strength training
It really is the proxy for
overall independence.
The more muscle mass you have, the less chance of heart disease, diabetes, falls and even anxiety, depression and dementia.
The brain can be linked to muscle mass too, Harlow says. It’s not just about being able to lift things. It gives you more energy, better sleep and you’ll look and feel better.
How to age without pain
Daily habits
Do short bursts of exercise, between 30 and 60 seconds, in otherwise dead time during the day.
Stretch in bed
Take joints through a full range of motion for five minutes to loosen it before getting up.
Don’t crash diet
How to age without pain
Harlow advises 1.6 grams per kilogram of body weight to stop muscle loss alongside resistance training.
Don’t wait
Harlow finds that many patients put off making a change to their lifestyle until their lives are consumed by pain.
For most people, it’s about reducing the number of times per week you’re exercising, not reducing intensity.
The three ageing tests to do
- Lie completely flat on the floor and get back up to a standing position using any technique. This should take less than 10 seconds.
See how many times you can sit on the chair and stand back up again in 30 seconds. Men should be aiming for more than 14 times and women 12.
The single-leg stand, which involves standing on one leg and balancing for 10 seconds. Everyone should be able to do that and for those under 65, Harlow asks them to do it with their eyes closed.
Despite the job market hiring fewer entry-level roles, employers are still looking for grads…
But you should be prepared to keep an open mind.
We’ve compiled the sectors hiring graduate roles, what degree is required, and what they pay.
The degrees to choose for a career
Hiring in the UK could
finally be on the up
47%
of employers offered entry-level
positions from July.
That is up nearly 15 per cent from the same period last year.
700,000
But graduate unemployment rose to six per cent in 2025 and 700,000 jobless graduates were claiming benefits.
Finance and insurance
- Around 42 per cent of UK finance and insurance employers say they will be open to graduate roles this summer.
- Business loan company Portman Finance Group has taken on 50 graduates over the past four years.
Portman graduates start on £36,000 for the two-year programme and the education you need to apply is a minimum “ABB” of A-levels, and a 2:1 or above university degree. But not in a specific subject.
Trade and logistics
What makes it particularly rewarding is that there’s always something to learn.
Nearly half (47 per cent) of trade and logistics companies will be giving graduates a go this year.
Salaries start at £30,000 with an uncapped bonus, rising to £50,000 plus a company car as a senior account partner.
Technology and IT
More than half (52 per cent) of UK tech and IT firms are actively looking for graduates.
Successful entry-level candidates can earn a basic salary of up to £35,000, with the opportunity to triple that within their first three years of working.
4 min read
Public sector, health
and social services
46 per cent of public sector, health and social services organisations are also ready to take graduates, according to a survey by Manpower.
- For example, Police Now runs a graduate programme into policing. They recruit graduates from any degree field, as long as they achieve a 2:2 or above. Starting salaries range from £31,164 to £42,210 depending on location and rising each year.
Can we treat guests without blowing our budget?
According to Waitrose, a dinner party revival is underway led by younger people trying to reduce the cost of getting together.
Always have bread
People will feast on the
ELLA RISBRIDGER, AUTHOR OF THE KITCHEN BOOK – GOOD FOOD FOR EVERY DAY
bread, and then need less fish/steak/expensive whatever. All small plates restaurants know this: this is why the first thing on the menu is always artisan bread and butter.
Use vegetables as centrepieces
Add pantry items
Graham’s recipes include a braised cabbage with a preserved lemon sauce, a roast cauliflower with saffron, and harrisa roast carrots with mango labneh.
How to host on a budget
Improve the everyday
Guests will always appreciate a stellar interpretation of the ordinary. Think lasagna or curry.
Cooking dinner for your guests is spoiling them – you’re being generous with your time, your effort, and your home. So don’t feel the need to go overboard elsewhere.
Ask for help
Ask friends to bring a contribution, be it a nibble or a pudding.
Big platter energy
[Presentation] can be the key to elevating something . Spaghetti and tomato sauce suddenly looks like a feast when tumbled on a lovely big plate, dressed with olive oil and parmesan and placed in the middle of the table.
Food writer and editor Eleanor Steafel
How to host on a budget
Taco party
Have one expensive filling, like shredded chicken, and two cheaper options, like refried beans, says Ella Risbridger.
Shop-bought ice cream is so easily zhuzhed up with the help of handy toppings, says Eleanor Steafel.
1. You unexpectedly have Saturday completely free. What happens?
a) One of you has probably decided what you’re doing before the other
has finished breakfast.
b) You throw a few ideas around and settle on something you both fancy.
c) You repeatedly say “I don’t mind” until somehow you are both mildly irritated.
d) You each have things you want to do and arrange to meet up later.
e) You do what you normally do on Saturdays. It works. Why complicate things?
2. Your partner comes home in a foul mood. What’s your instinct?
a) Find out what’s wrong and immediately start suggesting solutions.
b) Gauge whether they want comfort, advice, food, a glass of wine or to be left alone.
c) Ask if they’re OK. They say “fine”. You know they’re not fine. Nobody mentions this again.
d) Give them space. They’ll talk about it if they want to.
e) Carry on with the evening. You’ve been together long enough not to take every bad mood personally.
3. Your partner has a domestic habit that drives you quietly insane. What happens?
a) You tell them. Often.
b) You mention it, have a minor grumble and mostly manage to keep it in proportion.
c) You say nothing for months, then bring it up during an entirely unrelated argument.
d) You accept that living with another human inevitably involves encountering their baffling ways.
e) You stopped expecting them to change years ago.
4. When did you last surprise your partner?
a) Fairly recently, although it was probably something I organised.
b) Recently enough that I can remember it – and it didn’t necessarily involve spending money.
c) I often think of nice things I could do. Whether I actually get around to them is another matter.
d) We’re not really surprise people. We show affection in less demonstrative ways.
e) Does bringing home nice biscuits count?
5. You’re going away for a long weekend. Who sorts it out?
a) One of you. If they didn’t, you might still be discussing hotels at the departure gate.
b) You divide it up fairly naturally: one books the hotel, the other sorts travel or restaurants.
c) One person does most of it while insisting they don’t mind doing most of it. They may, in fact, mind.
d) You agree the basics but don’t feel the need to plan every moment together.
e) You return to somewhere you already know and like. You know where the decent coffee is and there will be no nasty surprises.
6. You’re sitting together after dinner. What are you most likely to be doing?
a) One of you is talking; the other is half-listening while doing something else.
b) Sometimes chatting, sometimes watching something, sometimes doing absolutely nothing. It feels companionable rather than awkward.
c) Both on your phones, periodically showing each other things the other person doesn’t find quite as funny as hoped.
d) Quite possibly doing different things in different rooms.
e) Watching the programme you always watch, from the places you always sit, with the snacks you always buy.
7. Here comes That Argument. You both know this one. What happens next?
a) One of you wants to sort it out now. The other would very much prefer not to.
b) You might get cross, but eventually you can usually work out what you’re really arguing about.
c) You stop because neither of you wants a row, although the problem itself remains alive and well.
d) You go your separate ways, cool down and usually decide life is too short to restart it.
e) You could probably perform both sides of the argument yourself. There are no new lines.
8. Your partner is offered something fantastic – but it will make your life considerably less convenient. What do you think first?
a) “That’s brilliant. Now, how on earth are we going to make this work?”
b) “I’m thrilled for you. Let’s work out what it means for both of us.”
c) “That’s amazing!” followed by a thought you don’t feel terribly proud about.
d) “It’s their decision. I don’t want to stand in their way.”
e) “Do we really want to disrupt everything when life is working perfectly well?”
9. Be honest: who knows that you’re nearly out of washing powder, someone needs to buy a birthday present and the boiler service is overdue?
a) Mainly one of you. The other will happily help when given instructions.
b) It varies. You both tend to notice what needs doing without one person having to issue a job list.
c) One of you knows, but wishes the other would notice without being asked.
d) You each have your own areas and largely leave the other person to get on with theirs.
e) You’ve been doing the same jobs for so long now that nobody remembers how the arrangement started.
10. Which of these would you least like your partner to say about your relationship?
a) “I sometimes feel more like your assistant than
your partner.”
b) “I love you, but I’m not sure you’re as curious about me as you used to be.”
c) “I never quite know what you really want because you don’t tell me.”
d) “Sometimes I miss you even when we’re both at home.”
e) “Nothing’s particularly wrong. But when did we become quite so predictable?”
The results..
Whichever letter you picked most often is probably your default couple mode. A tie is perfectly normal. Relationships are messy, people are contradictory and, mercifully, human beings do not divide neatly into five categories.
The relationship CEO
Things get done in your relationship. The question is: by whom?
One of you has probably become the engine of the relationship: suggesting, organising, remembering, initiating and occasionally wondering why they have acquired an unpaid management position.
This doesn’t necessarily mean one partner is controlling and the other lazy. Couple roles creep up on us. The more competent one person becomes at taking charge, the easier it is for the other to step back. Eventually both can feel trapped by an arrangement neither actually chose.
Your strength
You are functional. Plans happen, decisions get made and somebody generally knows where the passports are.
Your blind spot
Taking responsibility can slowly turn into carrying responsibility. Meanwhile the less active partner can start to feel managed rather than loved.
Your weekend experiment
The usual organiser hands over one thing completely – lunch, Saturday night, a day out. The important bit: no reminding, correcting or taking over halfway through.
The grown-up lovers
You appear to have grasped that a good relationship requires both “us” and “me”
You can co-operate without requiring agreement on everything. You notice each other, make room for difference and generally repair things when they go wrong.
Pretty healthy, in other words.
But good relationships have their own trap: assuming that because everything is fine, it requires no further attention. Security is wonderful. Taking each other for granted, less so.
Your strength
You have what psychologists call interdependence: closeness without losing your separate selves.
Your blind spot
You may know your partner extremely well – but familiarity can make us stop looking. People change even when relationships don’t.
Your weekend experiment
Ask your partner something you genuinely don’t know about them: an ambition they haven’t pursued; something they miss; what they would do with a year off. Then resist the temptation to tell them your answer until they have finished theirs.
The peacekeepers
You don’t have many blazing rows. Unfortunately, that may not mean quite what you think it does
You’re considerate. You don’t want to be demanding. You may both be excellent at letting things go.
Except sometimes they haven’t gone anywhere.
Avoiding unnecessary conflict is healthy. Avoiding necessary conflict isn’t. Resentment has a habit of leaking out sideways: a slightly barbed joke, an exaggerated sigh, withdrawal – or an astonishingly emotional reaction to somebody loading a dishwasher incorrectly.
Your strength
You care about each other’s feelings and neither of you wants the relationship to become a battleground.
Your blind spot
You may expect your partner to infer needs you haven’t actually expressed. Mind-reading remains a surprisingly unreliable relationship strategy.
Your weekend experiment
Each of you says: “One small thing I’d like more of from you is…” Small is crucial. Not “be more emotionally available”. Try: “Could you put your phone away when I’m telling you about my day.” No rebuttals. No counter-requests. Just listen.
The independent states
You love each other. You just don’t necessarily need to be in the same room while doing it
There is something genuinely healthy about a couple who don’t expect each other to provide entertainment, validation and companionship 24 hours a day.
You probably have your own interests, friendships and ways of coping. You don’t panic when your partner wants space and may have fewer petty rows than many couples.
But there is a difference between independence and disconnection – and it can be surprisingly difficult to notice when you have crossed it.
Your strength
Trust. You allow each other to remain fully fledged adults rather than treating coupledom as a three-legged race.
Your blind spot
You can become extremely good at living alongside each other. But intimacy requires occasionally turning towards each other as well.
Your weekend experiment
Create 90 minutes of deliberate “us” time. Go somewhere, cook something, walk somewhere unfamiliar, sit in a pub. The only rule is that neither of you disappears into a screen.
The comfortable coasters
Congratulations: you have reached that lovely stage where your partner knows precisely how you take your tea. Unfortunately, they may also know almost everything you’re going to say before you say it
Your relationship has stability, shared history and rituals. These are valuable things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being comfortable.
But comfort and routine can morph into boredom.
Relationships rarely become stale because couples suddenly stop loving each other. More often, they stop noticing each other. Life becomes efficient, familiar and pleasantly unsurprising – until one day somebody wonders where the spark went.
Your strength
You have built something secure. You know each other’s rhythms, quirks and needs.
Your blind spot
“We’re fine” can sometimes be the three most dangerous words in a long relationship.
Your weekend experiment
Do one thing that neither of you has done before. Nothing dramatic is required. Order something you can’t pronounce, take the train somewhere random, go to an exhibition you know nothing about. Novelty wakes up attention – and attention is one of the things long relationships need most.
Five things every couple can do – without “working on the relationship”
1. Look up
Many attempts at connection are tiny. “Listen to this.” “Look at that dog.” “You’ll never guess what happened today.”
They may sound trivial, but they are often miniature requests for attention. You don’t need to respond enthusiastically to every cat video your partner shows you. You do need to notice that sometimes they are really saying: share this moment with me.
2. Have the 10-minute conversation
Once a day, give each other 10 minutes when neither of you is simultaneously watching television, answering emails or emptying the dishwasher.
Not “what time are you home tomorrow?” Ask how they actually are. Ten minutes sounds laughably small. That is precisely why there is very little excuse not to do it.
3. Say the small thing before it becomes the big thing
Couples often avoid raising minor irritations because they don’t want to make a fuss. Unfortunately, suppressed irritation tends not to evaporate. It collects resentment.
Say it early, kindly and specifically. The wet towel on the floor is much easier to discuss while it is still just a wet towel.
4. Don’t confuse fairness with 50/50
Healthy relationships are rarely mathematically equal every day. Sometimes one person carries 80 per cent because the other simply can’t.
The important questions are: does it move both ways over time, and does the person doing the carrying feel seen?
Being appreciated can make an enormous difference to how effort feels.
5. Never assume you’ve finished getting to know them
This may be the most important one. Long-term couples accumulate huge amounts of information about each other and mistake that for knowing everything.
But the person you fell in love with five, 10 or 20 years ago isn’t exactly the person sitting opposite you now. Neither are you.
Keep finding out who they have become.