
A British woman, one of the survivors of Canadian poison seller Kenneth Law, faced him in court on Wednesday to describe how he had exploited her vulnerability.
Elisabeth Belien told the four-day sentencing hearing of Law in Ontario, Canada she had been at her lowest ebb when he sold her toxic chemicals when she was just 23.
Belien, who until Wednesday had not been known as one of his customers, said she had physically recovered after being successfully given an antidote by medics.
But as she faced him as he sat in the glass-panelled dock, she revealed she had suffered "survivor's guilt" after learning from police others had died.
Law has admitted 14 counts of aiding suicides in Canada after meeting people in suicide forums online. But there are almost 80 deaths in the UK that have also been linked to him.
As part of a plea deal with Canadian authorities, Law will not face charges in the UK or over any British deaths.
But impact statements from their families are being read during the sentencing hearing this week.
Belien told the court: "I had struggled with my mental health for a long time before this. Kenneth Law made it a lot easier to act on that despair.
"I continue to struggle with intrusive thoughts and flashbacks of that day.
"I made a full recovery. However, emotionally and psychologically, the effects are far more long lasting.
"I feel guilty for surviving. Although I survived It has also impacted my loved ones. I feel like my vulnerability was exploited. I still feel a lot of shame about what happened.
"I felt like the purchasing from Kenneth Law, I enabled him to continue his business, supplying his products, to other people who might have been vulnerable, like I was. I felt guilty for surviving."
Belien, who said she took the poison in January 2023, said being in court reminded her "how easily" it could have been her own parents there talking about her.
"I'm learning that things can get better," she said.
"I'm learning to be excited to see what the future holds for me. But the gratitude I'm feeling for being alive today doesn't take away from the trauma of the experience."

Authorities say Law, a former chef, sold about 1,200 packages of toxic substances to recipients he met in online suicide forums in 40 countries. Roughly a quarter of the packages were sent to the UK.
He was arrested in May 2023, following a complex investigation by at least 11 law-enforcement agencies that involved investigators from around a dozen countries, including the UK, Italy and the US.
David Parfett, whose son Tom died in October 2021, said in a victim impact statement: "Since Tom died, I've struggled with my mental health.
"Initially, in the months after he died, I didn't properly mourn him, because my focus was on understanding, and then exposing the harm caused by the internet platforms that allowed Law to trade suicide to kids.
"I'm still, after five years, unable to fully process Tom's death. I'm a very different person to who I was before Tom took his own life, having previously been gregarious, outgoing. I find it difficult to enjoy life."
A statement was also read from the parents of Henry Tucker, a 14-year-old British boy who died in October 2021.
Kate and Henry Tucker said Henry had been diagnosed with autism but actually had a neurological condition that could have been treated with antibiotics.
"The realisation that his suffering and his death could have been prevented is a weight that is impossible to bear," they said.
"The death of a children under these circumstance is a heavy burden to carry for the rest of our lives.
"We will carry it however with Henry's blessings until we meet again. We love you Henry."

Norson Harris, the father of British victim Ashleigh Harris, read a statement in person on the agony of losing his daughter.
He said: "The circumstances of Ashleigh's death have been incredibly tough to bear.
"We all feel we should have been able to prevent Ashleigh's death.
"Rather than offer the help needed that individual Kenneth Law sold her a chemical that Ashleigh took to end her life.
"I still hope over time Mr Law will recognise the answer to Ashleigh and the myriad of others who reached out to him should have been that they were loved and there was help available to them."
Earlier Stephen Mitchell Sr, the father of Canadian Stephen Mitchell Jr, told of the aftermath of his death on March 25 2023.
"He was ill, he needed help, and I tried my best to bring him that help," he said.
"Mr Law robbed my son of that chance to be well."
Mr Mitchel Sr, addressing Law in court, said: "I'm willing to accept that during Mr Law's time in incarceration, he might have had brief moments of regret, or even despair and helplessness.
"Perhaps he may have even thought during those moments: my life is meaningless, what is the point of living.
"That was the same thoughts that my son Stephen had before he took the chemicals that Mr Law sold him.
"When my son was well, he would have gladly helped Mr Law work out his depressive thoughts, if asked, because he believed in the value of people."
Sandra Scott, whose daughter, Amara Scott, died on February 9 2022 aged 25, said she and her family were trying to help her through a mental health crisis.
"Our efforts were cut short when, in her most vulnerable state, she made contact with the accused, she said.
"The day I and her friends found Amara, and the way that she died – it broke my heart.
"It was a blessing and an honour to be Amara's mother."
The hearing continues.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by the issues raised in this article, details of organisations offering information are available at BBC Action Line