Voters in Clacton are heading to polling stations today to choose their new MP.

And while most expect Nigel Farage to win, some of the electorate have hinted they may instead lend their support to an intergalactic alien.

So what happens if Count Binface wins the vote?

With all the major parties having pulled out of the race at its outset, the widespread assumption is that Farage’s top opponent is now the ‘independent space warrior’ perhaps best known for wearing a bin on his head.

That may sound silly, but there’s a chance it could become serious if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea decide to back the novelty candidate over the Reform UK leader.

Earlier this month, constituency polling by Survation found that one in five Clacton residents would rather vote for Count Binface over Farage.

Bookmakers William Hill also gave 12/1 odds for Count Binface to become Clacton’s new MP.

What happens if Binface wins?

So what happens if Count Binface actually emerges victorious tomorrow morning?

The answer is, we’re not sure – no novelty candidate has ever won a Parliamentary election before.

The closest equivalent may be Stuart Drummond, who was elected Mayor of Hartlepool after standing as football mascot H’Angus the Monkey – and famously did quite well in the role, resulting in him being re-elected twice.

According to the i Paper, Binface, who recently sent an election broadcast from the ‘edge of space’, would not be allowed to wear his (its? their?) signature costume in the House of Commons if elected, as clothing is required to ‘demonstrate respect for the House’.

Instead, we might end up with plain old comedian Jon Harvey sitting at the back of the chamber between Rupert Lowe and Jeremy Corbyn.

He may then need to make good on his election pledges, such as capping the price of 99 Flake ice creams at 99p, making fairer arcade grabber machines, nationalising Adele, and becoming the UK entry for next year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

Meanwhile, Farage would be free from the Parliamentary Standards Commission investigations into the £5,000,000 ‘gift’ he received from crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne and the support he has received from aristocrat and convicted fraudster George Cottrell.

And all he would need to do in return is suffer through one of the most humiliating upsets in British political history, bringing him to eight losses in nine elections.

You’d imagine he would step down as Reform leader as a result, handing the reins over to Richard Tice, Robert Jenrick or Zia Yusuf and likely giving a boost to Prime Minister Andy Burnham.

Then Farage would be able to live life in peace, away from any media scrutiny of windfalls his pals might drop into his bank account.

Until, perhaps, the campaign kicks off for the next general election in 2029 and Count Binface is running for re-election.

That’s interesting… it looks like he’ll be up against a mysterious figure in a helmet shaped like a giant pint of bitter. And there’s something familiar about the candidate’s croaky voice, even as it echoes inside the headwear…

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